If you feel it. Emotional dullness or just burnout: what to do if you don’t feel anything? Feelings are muscles

Sometimes a day comes in a woman’s life when she wants to break a mirror, crawl under the covers, grab a box of eclairs, and complain about her unattractiveness as a woman. Eclairs, of course, will not add attractiveness, but they will sweeten the bitterness of imperfection.

And I have for you a selection of advice from a psychologist that works 99% on how to increase your attractiveness. Why 99%? Yes, because I leave 1% for those who prefer to go for a second box of eclairs instead of following the advice.

If you feel unattractive

In first place in terms of efficiency is confidence in yourself and your abilities. This feeling comes with a bonus: a beautiful gait, a straight back, a raised head and a triumphant smile. What to do to feel attractive? Just believe in yourself!

In second place in the guide to getting rid of your own unattractiveness is - and this is predictable! – change of image, image, appearance. Without radical methods, just with the help of an experienced stylist. When you see yourself transformed in the mirror, you will be 100% sure of your attractiveness. And the looks of passers-by and compliments from colleagues will not take long to arrive and will remove the last doubts.

In third place is the most pleasant recommendation: photo session with an excellent photographer. A few thoughtful images, a glass of wine or something stronger to sparkle your eyes, a little coquetry and liberation... Add to this the skill of a photographer - and for the first week you will look at your photos several times a day. And you will definitely want to register with a marriage agency so that your photos can be seen by thousands of available men. It’s no secret that high-quality photographs help you get married successfully.

In fourth place I settled comfortably smile. I don't know any women who wouldn't like a smile. But I know many whom a smile made them mysterious, enigmatic, glowing from within. Interesting fact: men on dating sites stop their gaze at photographs of those women who smile or even laugh, because a smile is the simplest way radiate attractiveness and invite closer acquaintance.

In fifth place - communication. Maximum communication. You can start by communicating on forums, in chat rooms, on dating sites - where the interlocutor is assessed by the conversation, and not by appearance. Learn to be witty, sarcastic, good-natured, sympathetic and funny. Change your mood depending on who you are communicating with and on what topics. And when you realize that people are interested in you, that they are waiting for your letters or messages, that they listen to your opinion and laugh at your jokes - congratulations, this is success! Victory over your perceived unattractiveness.

You agree that you are incredibly attractive and damn charming? ;-)

If apathy and blues are caused by PMS or simple fatigue, there are no problems. You can easily survive all this in a couple of days with a bucket of ice cream and a vanilla movie - you know it yourself.

But when indifference towards life drags on, and not even for a week... This needs to be dealt with. What the Universe doesn't like most is when we waste our time.

Some people may simply suffer from a mental disorder in which they are unable to recognize and read the emotional background of situations, their feelings and other people.

But you understand that such people are in the minority.

Insensitivity is not a cause, but a consequence of a problem that has been driven into the farthest corner - just not to be solved.

And everything is quite understandable: unsuccessful relationships, disappointments in people, neuroses, stress at work, suppressed emotions, complexes, an excess of other people’s opinions and desires in life.

The ability to “environmentally” and correctly experience emotions is real work, a valuable skill that a woman simply needs.

Paying attention to your feelings allows you to understand yourself, adequately analyze and evaluate your actions and reactions to different life situations.

When is lack of feelings normal, and when should you sound the alarm? Let's find out.

Neuroses and stress

While our society quietly laughed at the Americans who went to the psychologist with or without reason, we managed to accumulate and bottle up an unimaginable number of problems and unrealized emotions.

The psyche of each of us needs the same basic hygiene as our body.

No amount of work on yourself will be successful, no amount of affirmations will make you enlightened if your only and the main idea- get enough sleep, for example.

Modern women have driven themselves into the framework of strength and independence; they have not learned to take the energy for all this - and they do not allow themselves to rest.

They live in a state of extreme physical and moral exhaustion, and then they wonder why they don’t feel attraction or love. Nothing.

Work on your past, on negative attitudes, so that tomorrow you can be better than you are today. It is necessary - without a doubt. But if you don't feel anything, go on vacation.

I have been repeating to myself and my team for many years now: “Desire has thousands of possibilities, reluctance has thousands of reasons.”

Think about why, somewhere deep inside, it is now profitable and convenient for you to suffer and think, “Why don’t I feel anything?”, “Why am I unlucky with men?”

If you dig deep, you will find the answer. Take it with you on vacation for a week. And you don’t have to fly to the Maldives for this. It is enough to spend time with yourself and for your own benefit.

If you understand the mechanisms of your unconscious and know your weak points.

I'm not calling you to quit your job instantly, but if you take the same actions and expect a different result, this is a losing strategy in advance. Therefore, first, give your psyche a rest and recovery.

Right Experience

The ability to openly and clearly express or realize one’s feelings -

As children, we were all told at least once: “don’t laugh so loudly,” “don’t scream,” “behave decently.” Yes, these points concerned upbringing and behavior in society.

But such formulations are like those that teach a child from early childhood to suppress and hide his emotions, to block reactions.

While you're on vacation

The ability and ability to feel is a purely female prerogative. And often it is directly related to the awareness of one’s femininity and acceptance of one’s feminine principle.

Try the following exercise. It will help track your attitude towards men - if your insensitivity is associated with past experiences of unsuccessful relationships.

Over the next week, look those in the eye. And remember how it makes you feel.

You can even keep a notebook in which you can write down your feelings. Incredibly, you will be surprised when you realize that you are feeling shame, lack of dignity, fear or other negativity.

Do you want a more difficult task? Look into your eyes, smile and wave your hand. Here you can feel the whole range of emotions. Especially when the man smiles back and walks in your direction to...

And one more important point that is worth mentioning. Never judge your feelings and emotions, because this is the voice of your soul.

Firstly, by nature, a person is allowed not only to smile permanently, but sometimes to cry or get angry. If we didn’t need it, evolution wouldn’t have implanted these feelings in us.

Secondly, most important life experience- wean yourself from reflection, not to be led by situations and other people, not to fall into emotional hooks, etc.

By the way, fear or aversion to manifestations negative emotions- another reason why you can be completely emotionless. Tears, sweat, redness, tremors - not as aesthetically pleasing as they show in the movies, but we are not living in a fairy tale.

A real life- it's about different experiences, not only about sheer joy. Otherwise, we simply wouldn’t learn anything.

If as a child your mother dressed you only in trousers and insisted that you should achieve everything on your own, unlocking your female potential will be a real miracle for you. This is a very difficult, but pleasant work on yourself.

Or another example - if after an unsuccessful relationship you decided that all “men are assholes”, then by working through this belief, you will give yourself a chance for real feelings and emotions, which means happiness for a woman.

I don't like anyone

A phrase that I hear more and more often from modern women. Translating it into simple and honest language: “I don’t like people who like me.” And there are three reasons why you don’t feel anything for the men around you.

The first possibility is that you are fixated on an ideal, a fictional image that is convenient for you.

So that he can provide for his family, and spend a lot of time with you, and so that you travel once a month and flowers every week, and gifts every day.

Excuse me, but what will you do amidst all this holiday, where is your area of ​​responsibility in this relationship?

Yes, male attention, flowers and gifts are important for a woman. But you need to come down to earth and become the one for whom a man wants to do this.

A last season's shirt or a man's slight shyness can easily serve as a reason for your refusal. No. No. And again no. After all, you are looking for the perfect one.

Honey, I’ll tell you a secret - there are no perfect people. Each has its own nuances. And if he wore a shirt from last season and was a little embarrassed on the first date, this is not an argument not to go on the second.

The desire for perfection must clearly fit into the framework of adequacy, otherwise it is fraught with complete loneliness.

And we need a woman who can provide support, love and that very “rear.” For now, he is “harvesting mammoths” for her happiness and comfort as well.

The second reason why you may have problems with feelings is a banal fear of relationships. For example, parents’ divorce and the lack of examples of happy families before your eyes and voila - the fear of relationships is right there.

Is it possible to get rid of the fear of intimacy? Of course you can. There is no need to fight it, you just need to understand the mechanism of fear.

How are brave people different from ordinary people? Everyone is scared, but those who are self-sufficient act, while others live in their fears.

Being brave does not mean stopping a galloping horse and putting out a fire, it means being honest with yourself and taking action.

The third reason you don't like anyone is because you only hang out with one type of man. Think about your exes - you will find a lot in them general qualities in different modifications.

I’ll say right away that if you’re surrounded by people alone, the question is definitely in you.

Judging yourself as a woman by one type of man, labeling yourself as “gray mouse”, “blue stocking” and “loneliness” is not at all correct.

Therefore, you need to “work” yourself in order to go beyond the usual circle. You can’t sit in a swamp and wait for someone to come and save you, suddenly making you happy and emotional.

You need to pull yourself out and go to new people to get new emotions.

Feelings are muscles

If you don't train them, they become flabby and lifeless. If you don’t move at all, they simply atrophy.

But you need to act according to the scheme: “experienced an emotion - embodied it.” If you have taken the path, after working through all of the above, you will learn to create the world around you with the help of emotions.

And a “warm” emotional background and a state of femininity are the main keys to the start of a happy relationship.

I believe in your happiness
Yaroslav Samoilov

They say when you meet your person, you will just understand and feel it. But what exactly will you feel?

1. You will feel ready.

When one relationship ends, you are in no hurry to start a new one because you are afraid of getting burned again. You don't want to risk your heart again, you just want a quiet life.

But when you meet the right person, everything will make sense again. You will feel ready to open up to this person without fear that he might hurt you. Something will just click between you and you will feel like you have met your soul mate.

2. You will feel that he respects your emotional needs.

When you meet the right person, he will respect everything about you. When you're sad, he'll try to calm you down or just leave you alone if that's what you want. On the other hand, when you are happy, he will try to double your happiness by supporting you and being happy for you.

3. You will look to the future the same way.

It is very important that the couple has the same vision for their future. The problem starts when you want one thing and he wants another, but if you are absolutely compatible in your goals and dreams, then you are on your way.

4. You can be yourself with him.

It is very important to be able to relax next to your loved one. If you feel like you don't have to pretend around him, that you can be yourself, then you're lucky! If he accepts you for who you are, then he loves you with all your flaws. He loves the real you, and that's the most important thing.

5. You feel happy.

The best way to know you've met the right person is to pay attention to your emotions. If you feel like the happiest person on earth, there is no doubt that he is your soul mate.

6. You will feel like you are becoming a better person around him.

This is a great sign! If he brings out the best in you, you'll feel like you've done right choice for yourself by choosing it. You will be proud that he is with you, and you will not want to let him go.

7. Your intuition will tell you that he is your one and only.

There may be many different signs that a person is right for you, but if you don’t feel it inside yourself, it’s all in vain. If you see the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, how he touches you, how tenderly he kisses and caresses you, then you will understand that he is your soul mate. Women have a sixth sense, so you can really just feel it. Yes, we may fall in love with the wrong person, but even then, deep down we know it is wrong. You just need to not be afraid to follow your inner voice.

The most important thing that can connect two people is truth, sincerity, openness.
In everything, always. And I’ll tell you honestly: when a person openly admits to you his doubts and fears about you, this is much more valuable than saying the well-worn “I Love You, you are Very Dear to me.”

Such openness hits your pride very hard. How? I? How can you not trust me? This level of sincerity delivers an adrenaline shot straight to the core of your ego.

That is why not everyone is ready to listen to the truth. After all, as you know, it hurts your eyes and undermines your unshakable self-esteem. That's why most people's reactions to the truth are so painful. After all, with your sincerity, you step on a person’s ego.

Therefore, sincerity is the responsibility of both. The first one gathers courage and speaks, very carefully choosing the words that most closely reflect his feelings. The second one gathers courage and listens, looks within, realizes the tingling of one’s own ego and tries to understand and feel the pain and doubts of one’s neighbor.

I assure you, when you move from the position of “Me and my Point of View” to the position of “he/she and his/her feelings and perceptions,” an important transformation will occur first of all with you. There will be a flash, a surge of energy within each of the partners and this will lead to the awareness of an even deeper connection between you.

Words. Words.

In relationships, I have developed one very simple rule - always feel the soul, and then try to understand the words.

Words are an imperfect, shaky foundation on which it is unlikely that anything solid can be built. If you rely on words in a relationship, you have every chance of experiencing severe disappointment.

Therefore, a mantra appeared in my life: “tell me, what do you feel?” Every time I want to get closer to the shared truth between me and my beloved, I ask her this question.

This question immediately draws her attention to her feelings and sensations that cannot be conceptualized. They are what they are, and she begins to tell me about them.

At first hesitant, shy, and then more and more natural. The truth transforms both of us. It allows you to immerse yourself, see the world of your neighbor and get to know him better, and thereby get rid of a bunch of illusory ideas about your neighbor.

Sincerity is sex with the soul of your partner. Impulsive, sensual. Saturated with energy that creates unimaginable somersaults inside.

Sincerity is wonderful! Sometimes it makes everything inside tingle with pain, but having gone through this, seeing life through the eyes of your loved one, you give birth to something more than just an emotional attachment. Gleb Efimenko - Kogan.

The feeling of love comes suddenly - it seems to cover your head. A loved one seems ideal, the best in the world. And they are ready to live their whole lives with him and never be separated. But not every feeling of love is durable; often it is replaced by ordinary affection for a person.

Instructions

How can you understand your feelings and understand whether you love or live with each other due to a strong habit?
First, you should find out why such thoughts came to your mind; there’s probably something you’re not happy with in your relationship. And this is understandable, because after some time of living together, passion dulls, there is no novelty of emotions, so the relationship becomes quite calm and monotonous. This can cause boredom and thoughts that love has long passed. Is it worth living together then?

Don't jump to conclusions. The fact that you now do not experience minute-to-minute outbursts of passion, as in those days when you started dating, is a natural phenomenon. But that doesn’t mean that love has passed. It’s just that your feeling has moved to a new, more mature level. You have to be able to preserve it.

Psychologists identify several signs of family relationships that can help you understand whether you still love each other or live in affection. Your partner is imperfect, but you are happy with him.
For example, you always dreamed of a chosen athlete and activist, but you married a homebody who spends free time reading magazines and books. When the first emotional decline of your feelings passes, you begin to soberly evaluate your partner, clearly see all his shortcomings and habits that you did not notice during the period of passionate love. It is at this very time that you should decide for yourself whether you can live with your lover’s shortcomings. Moreover, it is not to get along and endure, but to live happily and calmly, accepting a person as he is.

You feel confident and comfortable with the person.
You are not alarmed by the fact that now you do not walk all night long, and your husband does not climb into your bedroom through the open window. You understand that a married couple has other joys. You are happy that your loved one, when returning from work, does not forget to buy you your favorite cookies, that you fall asleep on his shoulder every night. Of course, in married life there is a place for unusual impressions and emotions. It all depends on you and your imagination. Do not think that family life is boring and monotonous. You simply love and appreciate your chosen one, even if he does not provide you with grandiose daily entertainment.

Love is built on mutual respect.
A neglectful attitude can kill even the strongest feelings. If spouses truly love each other, they will try to seek compromises in controversial situations.

Love gives you self-confidence.
Having a reliable, loving “rear”, you can conquer more and more new heights for yourself. The support of a loved one is what gives us strength and inspires confidence in the future.

Speaking about love, it is worth saying a few words about habit. Is the situation really so hopeless when you realize that there is no more love, only affection remains? It often happens that love passes, people quickly break up and forget about each other. But it can be very difficult to let go of someone you are used to. Habit is a terrible force.
So before you ruin your relationship, consider whether your habit is just another form of love.

note

It is worth admitting that love has passed if you stop associating everything with one specific person. Spain becomes just a country, not a place where you spent your holiday together, and the jewelry he gave you becomes just a piece of jewelry that you no longer want to wear every day. You notice couples of lovers and realize very well that you are no longer like them.

Helpful advice

How to understand that love has passed? What contributed to this? Let's figure it out. Scientists have identified hormones that are responsible for each stage of a love relationship. They also proved that love does not last forever. How long does it take for love to last? Representatives of the older generation may answer: “Love lives for three years.” And they turn out to be right, although they rely only on life experience, and not science.

Loving someone is a wonderful thing, but not everything is always clear and understandable. For example, you’re dating a girl, and your relationship seems to be going well, but for some reason you’re not sure whether you love your soulmate, or whether it’s just an affair that will end soon.

Such uncertainty is a little scary and prevents you from living peacefully and sleeping at night. We definitely need to look into this issue. But how to understand your feelings for a person?

Just sympathy for analysis sells, but warmer feelings do not.

You yourself can easily determine whether you like this or that person. You just enjoy being together, communicating, but your heart doesn’t skip a beat when a person you like enters the room, you don’t miss him, well, or almost don’t miss him. But if you are tormented by trying to answer the question “Do I love this girl?”, then everything is more complicated, because love cannot be analyzed, it is a complex multifaceted feeling, not an emotion.

Get some privacy

You will not be able to understand this issue if the person you love is sitting in front of you (or only you think so). And in general, no other people or pets should be nearby at the moment of your thoughts. Eliminate extraneous sounds - turn off the radio, TV, computer so as not to hear the whirring of the cooling system fans.

Think about the person with whom you need to decide your feelings. What emotions do you feel when you think about a girl - positive, negative, or maybe neutral or no emotions at all? Do you want to be next to her now? It is quite possible that all these thoughts and search for answers will last more than one evening, but you will finally understand your feelings.

Live together

Are you dating a girl now? And you try to rent an apartment and live there together for several months. Imagine that you are already married. If you are driven simply by passion or love, you will not stand it for long, everyday life will definitely finish you off, and the girl will appear in a new light for you. You suddenly find out that, for example, she doesn’t know how to cook or doesn’t bother herself with housework at all. And here your feelings will be seriously tested. If, despite all the difficulties of living together, you still love a person as before, then your love is real.

Can't figure out if a man is in love with you? Look into a man's eyes to find out how he feels! Unlike words, a look never lies.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul, and the soul, as you know, never lies. Words can hide our true feelings, but our eyes never can. Especially when it comes to the look of a man in love. The ability to read eyes is a very useful activity that every girl should master, because this is the only way you can understand what your partner is really experiencing.

Do you want to know how a man feels about you? Just look into his eyes! Here are some tips to help you read the truthful answer into them.

How to find out how a man feels about you?

Direction of his gaze

To instill trust in a person, psychologists advise looking directly into his eyes during a conversation. However, if the interlocutor does not arouse our sympathy, it is incredibly difficult to do this, and our gaze constantly glides to the sides. And on the contrary, if a person is pleasant and interesting to us, we literally cannot take our eyes off his eyes, trying to capture not only the words, but also the emotions of our counterpart.

When communicating with a girl who evokes the most tender feelings in a man, he unconsciously establishes direct eye contact with her. This is a common psychological reaction that cannot be controlled. When an object of interest to us comes into our field of vision, we direct all our attention to it, trying not to miss a single detail.

Duration of eye contact

According to psychological research, while talking with friends, colleagues, relatives or acquaintances, people look into each other's eyes for approximately 50% of the total conversation time. If the dialogue is between two lovers, the duration of eye contact increases to 80%. At the same time, the look acquires intimacy and softness, as if people want to become even closer to each other.

To understand whether a man is in love with you or whether there is only flirting on his part, pay attention to where his gaze is directed during the intervals of the conversation. When a man is really interested in a girl, most of the time he looks at her face. If his gaze drops lower, wandering over your figure, his thoughts are occupied with fantasies of intimacy with you.

This is why men often do not remember the details of our image or features of appearance. For example, if you ask a man who recently talked with a girl he liked what she was wearing, he most likely will not remember, because during the conversation his attention was focused on her eyes and face.

Dilated pupils

Love affects our body like a drug. At least these two phenomena have one thing in common - dilated pupils. When a man looks at the girl he loves, his pupils involuntarily dilate. This happens because of the strong emotions that are now raging in his heart.

Concentration of attention

During a normal conversation, the duration of continuous eye contact is on average 5-6 seconds, after which the gaze involuntarily “runs away” to the side. But the gaze of a man in love acquires special concentration and attentiveness.

During a conversation, the main object of male attention is the girl, so now he is not interested in what is going on around him. If at this moment something happens that forces you to switch your attention, the process of looking away occurs with a slight slowdown.

As a rule, during normal flirting, a man is not so focused. With superficial interest, a man looks into the eyes of his interlocutor only when he speaks himself, as if reading in his gaze the reaction to his monologue. When a girl joins the conversation, his gaze involuntarily drops down or to the side.

Raised eyebrows

The gesture of slightly raised eyebrows is a sign of sympathy and trust. Raising his eyebrows, a man subconsciously says that he believes every word you say and wants you to believe him too.

Together with raised eyebrows, the man’s lips involuntarily stretch into a smile, and his body leans slightly forward. Being part nonverbal communication, all these gestures occur unconsciously, and it is impossible to control them.

Related Gestures

In addition to the “bottomless” look, several accompanying gestures will give away a man in love. For example, when a guy is overwhelmed with feelings, he unobtrusively touches the object of his passion, narrows the distance, and also uses “preening” gestures - straightening his hair or shirt collar. Translated from non-verbal language, all this means only one thing - the man is in love and he wants you to have exactly the same feelings for him.

The look of a man in love is like a bottomless ocean. Even if he has not yet uttered the cherished words, you will definitely feel his love, because he will reward you with the most special look.

How to understand that you love and are not in love. How to understand if your loved one loves you

If with all questions concerning a person it is best to approach and ask, then with regard to likes, this method may not work, because out of a feeling of embarrassment they can answer you that they do not like, and out of a desire not to offend, tell you that they do. However there are several indirect signs, if doubts remain about the spoken or unspoken confession. Actions that reveal a person’s attitude are always much more eloquent. If you notice that they care about you, always remember events or plans that are significant to you, help or try to please, then this is definitely about sincere sympathy. But when assessing actions, make allowances for how your loved one perceives the world; it is likely that he will show his signs of attention differently than you would do (if in your case these are constant SMS messages, then he may, on the contrary, not write, caring so as not to disturb you).

Perhaps the most important sign of serious love is making joint plans. When your relationship is long-term, then your plans should be big, about a common home and children, and for the initial stage, plans for weekends and holidays are good. If this does not happen, then the conversation can be initiated independently, since the person is afraid of scaring you off with his serious mood (after all, many girls believed magazine articles and simply do not talk about plans in order not to scare off their loved one).

The fact that you were introduced to your circle of friends, and possibly relatives, indicates a serious positioning of your relationship, and when you are introduced to new acquaintances as your soul mate, then this is love. If you notice that he withdraws in public and introduces you neutrally, then either you have chosen an extremely secretive and stern man, or he is undecided in his feelings.

You want to share with your loved one, and this should include not only material things, but also friends and time, advice from experience and mood. The desire to share with you your joyful participation in your life speaks of love, but the division of spheres with a clear definition without the desire to unite shows a person’s unwillingness to open up.

In order to express love, it is not necessary to say this word, but such an attitude should be felt, and if you have doubts, try to talk honestly.

All of the above signs of falling in love lie on the material plane. These are conclusions that follow from the specific words and actions of a man. But you can understand that a guy is hiding his feelings without resorting to complex psychological analysis. It’s enough to watch how he looks at the girl he loves.

The look of a man in love without words reveals sincere sympathy. He is unable to control himself; the call of nature forces him to look at the object of his adoration with “crimson eyes.” In such a gaze one can easily read admiration and delight. He views a woman as a beautiful painting, admiring every movement and curve of her body. Sometimes he freezes spellbound for a moment, as if plunging into a trance.

Subjects with strong psychological preparation, they try to hide this expressive feature. Having realized that it is indecent to constantly look at a lady, they begin to “encrypt”: casting frequent glances on the sly. But cover tactics reveal themselves sooner or later.

Sometimes it is difficult for people to determine exactly what feelings they have for a person. Love gives way to hatred, then indifference, affection, passion, and distrust alternately rule the roost in the soul. In a word, it’s so easy to get confused in the whole range of feelings and emotions and give them some clear definition. How can you understand exactly what you feel for a particular person?

If the attitude towards a person lends itself to at least some logical analysis, then with feelings things are much more complicated and confusing. Not all people easily identify their emotions, personal sensations and feelings. But you need to learn to listen to yourself, to your inner voice and intuition.

To do this you need complete concentration, absence of noise and fuss. It is best to determine your inner sensations alone, when nothing distracts you from the process of comprehending the great secret of your soul. Think about the person you are interested in and try to understand what exactly your heart feels towards him. Do you feel positive emotions, or vice versa? Do you want to be with him or not? You may need to think about it for a few days or even weeks, but the result you come up with will be fairly accurate.

In addition, it is quite easy to become convinced of the depth of your feelings if you live with the person you like for some time. It is in everyday life that one understands the compatibility of two people, as well as their ability to change, adapting to each other. You can be mistaken for a long time, naively believing that you are madly in love with your partner, but a few months spent together can easily and simply dispel this myth. But if you are dealing with a real soulmate, then no quarrels, trials or obstacles will allow you to throw him out of your life.

Therefore, try to communicate as often as possible with a person of the opposite sex that interests you. Only in this way will you be able to comprehend the unknown facets of his character, which can both increase your sympathy for him and kill all feelings. If you begin to experience severe discomfort in communication, you may decide to break off this connection or want to change yourself in order to save your relationship. In any case, it is not reason or the advice of friends and relatives that will help you accept correct solution in the field of love and emotions. Listen only to your soul, which will not deceive you.

Of course, we would need some kind of indicator that would allow us to determine whether it is love or not. However, wise scientists have not yet invented such a device, which is why we will “identify” interest, affection, sex, sympathy and love according to certain signs and parameters.

Method No. 1. Test

Can't understand your own experiences and feelings? Answer a few simple questions:

1. Do you think about him (her) before falling asleep, do you want to wish him pleasant dreams?
2. Are you trying to make him happy?
3. Do you feel good and calm next to your chosen one?
4. When you think about him, smile, blush and get excited?
5. Are you counting the hours until you meet him?
6. Do you consider him the best man (woman)?
7. You know about all his shortcomings, but continue to accept him for who he is?
8. Does being separated from him for a long time worry you?

If you answered a confident “yes” to all the questions, congratulations, your feelings are sincere. If you feel unsure about the answers, it’s worth thinking about it. Remember that the test should be taken in your normal state, avoiding special joys and quarrels.

Method number 2. Pros and cons

Common psychological method– divide a sheet of paper into two columns and write down positive and negative qualities your chosen one. This way you can get your real attitude towards him and a vision of his personality.

Analyze the number of pros and cons. What is your loved one made of? Advantages or disadvantages? Predominance positive qualities- another joyful testimony of your love and good attitude to a partner.

Method number 3. Meditation

It is more comfortable to sit in a soft chair, on a carpet that is pleasant to your body - you will have to spend half an hour on it. In addition, there should be no distractions or extraneous thoughts. It is easier to enter a “trance” by focusing on your own breathing.

Having calmed down and detached yourself from extraneous thoughts, imagine this person. Happened? How do you feel? Do you want to come up, kiss, hug, or run away? Decide on all your feelings (negative and positive) that arise when the image of your loved one appears.

Method number 4. “He is no more”

Quite a cruel, but effective technique. Try to imagine that your chosen one is no longer with you (no need to get hung up on this idea). Or perhaps you've never dated at all. What are you thinking about? Are such representations comfortable? Or perhaps they only bring you pain and discomfort? We understand the significance of a thing or person when we no longer possess it. The result of reflection will be an understanding of what feelings you experience for your chosen one.