Why is it not allowed for single women? The problem of older people. “Talks about children - means reliable”

Women's loneliness in modern world It has long ceased to be a curiosity. What reasons and types of loneliness have not been invented to somehow justify the absence of a family, relationship or partner.

Understanding yourself means:

Understanding a man means:

much easier.

“...Now I realized that we are nowhere without communication. Without people... why me then? For whom is everything?.. There has come an awareness of the need for society and the people around us. I want to work with them, communicate, and be useful!

“... From one awareness and understanding of the human psyche, this feeling of emptiness and loneliness that was eating away at me went away. The grievances, fears, and depression that prevented me from building relationships are gone. I stopped looking for someone who will fill me and give me happiness. I stopped having illusions and waiting for a mythical ideal. I already knew who I wanted, moreover, I knew how to recognize him immediately, and I knew what to expect from the relationship. For the first time in my life, I wanted to give, and not expect to be loved and understood. There was a calm confidence that I would have what I needed. And so it happened..."

link.

But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter why you’re alone. It is important that if loneliness is a problem for you, then at this moment you are faced with a choice. You can continue to be alone, feel sorry for yourself and complain to others about the lack of relationships, or take specific actions and steps so that loneliness finally ends.

Let's figure out what it is to overcome loneliness and how to find your female happiness with the help of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Loneliness is a problem that has an exact solution

And not just one. We are different and we also perceive loneliness differently. Therefore, what may be suitable for one woman as a way to get rid of the oppressive state of melancholy will not be suitable for another who is, say, deeply depressed.

That is, it is not enough to differentiate the types of loneliness; you need to clearly understand what innate mental characteristics (or, according to the definition of system-vector psychology, vectors) a woman has so that loneliness stops ruining her life.

By being aware and understanding the characteristics of her psyche and the psyche of her potential partner, a woman will be able to overcome her loneliness.

Misunderstanding is the main reason for female loneliness

Namely, a lack of understanding of oneself and others. Ignorance of one’s own natural desires and lack of understanding of the character traits of the chosen one do not make it possible to create a strong family or build permanent and happy relationships, dooming a woman to loneliness.

You can explain your loneliness and your unhappy female lot in any way you like, but you need to understand that loneliness is unnatural to female nature. A woman is fully revealed and realized only in a couple relationship: as a muse, as a wife and mother, as an ideological inspirer.

In reality, a lack of understanding of our innate character traits leads to the fact that we try to be what it is unusual for us to be. For example, when a kind, honest and faithful girl tries to become a bitch with the help of feminine tricks and tricks. Apart from terrible disappointment and aching feet from high heels, this will not bring her anything and will not relieve her of the feeling of loneliness.

A happy woman does not face loneliness

When a woman understands herself, her desires and needs, her internal psychological state changes: she is able to live in harmony with herself and enjoy life. And loneliness is no longer perceived as oppressive by her emotional condition. A happy woman is attractive to men!

When we experience pleasure in life, people around us are unconsciously drawn to us. And men - first of all. And by understanding the character of a man, already at the stage of acquaintance with a woman’s gaze, you can correctly evaluate the applicant and understand whether a relationship with him will work out or not. This will avoid unnecessary grievances and disappointments.

The female psyche is multifaceted; it can combine the properties of several vectors, so a woman’s loneliness can be overcome from different sides.

Loneliness of the honest: how to get out of mistrust - to understanding

Women for whom the main values ​​in life are family and children are women with an anal vector. By nature they are honest and trusting. And they expect the same from others. But instead of a decent prince, you come across liars and traitors who only hurt.

Women's loneliness especially burdens them, because they are by nature the best wives and mothers, but the path to women's happiness is blocked by distrust. Having once experienced the bitterness of betrayal or betrayal, they constantly expect a trick from a man, thereby only prolonging loneliness and nurturing grievances.

When a woman realizes the peculiarities of the psyche, both her own and that of a man, then the grievances gradually recede, and mistrust is replaced by understanding whether the potential chosen one will appreciate and respect her. And loneliness ceases to be a problem.

When you worry about others, loneliness gives way to happiness

When love is the meaning of life, and emotionality sometimes goes off scale, then we're talking about about a woman with a visual vector. She is amorous and impressionable, and if she does not experience strong emotions, emptiness accumulates inside, a feeling of uselessness arises more and more often, and despair can even set in. Such women feel loneliness especially acutely.

If a woman also has the qualities inherent in the skin vector - ambition, flexibility, quick reactions - she may also have an impressive number of fans. But none of them really catches you. Therefore, the skin-visual beauty rushes from one relationship to another, but still feels lonely and not very happy.

It will be easy for a woman with a visual vector to cope with loneliness when she learns to take her emotions out, that is, to worry about others, and not demand attention only for herself. It is such a woman who successfully creates emotional connections with a man, allowing the relationship to remain bright and sharp for a long time.

When life has meaning, loneliness ends

Thoughtful and detached, always hovering somewhere, always turned inward - a woman with a sound vector. The search for essence and meaning in everything is her life value. Her female desires are not related to material wealth, she is interested in science, philosophy, religion - everything that gives food for the mind.

Silence and the opportunity to be alone are desirable for her, but a woman is created for relationships, and a worthy companion for her must have equal intellect.

By focusing on the psyche of another person, distinguishing the desires of a man, a woman with a sound vector will overcome her inherent loneliness and find her feminine happiness. It is such a woman who can feel a true kinship of souls when she understands what kind of man can give it to her.

Women's loneliness: getting out of it and organizing your personal life is easy when you understand yourself and those around you

Loneliness does not threaten you when you understand yourself and the men around you.

Understanding yourself means:
• understand what exactly is the cause of your loneliness, and know exactly how to cope with it, based on the innate properties of the psyche;
• be aware of your own desires, and not follow the stereotypes of female behavior imposed by society;
• know what you want to get from a relationship and who can give it.

Understanding a man means:
• know his innate desires and aspirations even better than he himself;
• understand the level of development of his mental properties and their implementation in work and hobbies: let sadists, traitors and losers pass by;
• understand what he is capable of in a relationship, and what you should not expect from him.

When there is an understanding of oneself and others, life begins to play with new colors, and men do not seem entirely scoundrels and selfish people. And organizing your personal life becomes much easier.

“...Now I realized that we are nowhere without communication. Without people... why me then? For whom is everything?.. There has come an awareness of the need for society and the people around us. I want to work with them, communicate, and be useful!
...There was a time (a year, probably... maybe more) when I didn’t want to see people or dress nicely. I wore jeans to work and a sweater. Without feeling like a woman. I am not I, I am it. But a few days ago the desire to dress beautifully came, I put on a dress and I can’t get out of it))) I feel beautiful, feminine, desired...”

“... From one awareness and understanding of the human psyche, this feeling of emptiness and loneliness that was eating away at me went away. The grievances, fears, and depression that prevented me from building relationships are gone. I stopped looking for someone who will fill me and give me happiness. I stopped having illusions and waiting for a mythical ideal. I already knew who I wanted, moreover, I knew how to recognize him immediately, and I knew what to expect from the relationship. For the first time in my life, I wanted to give, and not expect to be loved and understood. There was a calm confidence that I would have what I needed. And so it happened..."

You can make your first discoveries about men at the next free online training System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.

The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”

Read often

Everyone famous story: beautiful, smart, but no man. And what to do about it is completely unclear. Expert Astro7 decided to look into the problem.

If you are a woman, you can conduct such an experiment. Register a profile on any popular dating site and post one photo (yours or even someone else’s). In a week you will have up to 1000 proposals from men. You won’t even have time to say “hello” to each of them.

However, you are unlikely to want to date these men. Despite the abundance of offers, you will continue to hang on this site and wait for the weather by the sea. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all what you look like - thin or plump, young or mature, beautiful or not so beautiful. Women search - and for some reason they remain lonely, just like men.

The story of female loneliness Let's start digging into the problem of female loneliness from the most banal - childhood and teenage attitudes given by parents. These attitudes have two extremes: the first sounds like this: “you will only marry a prince.” And the second is its complete opposite: “the main thing is to get a man, no matter what, because a woman without a man is like a cow without milk.” The young girl wraps it in her pigtail and logically thinks: “The prince is still better than some vague guy.” And since it’s the 21st century, the prince’s parameters are growing every year along with technical progress

Psychological origins of loneliness

Finally, there are several psychological answers to the question “why are girls lonely.” 1. Inferiority complex- it doesn’t matter whether it goes into plus or minus. “I’m ugly - I’m too beautiful”, “I’m very tall - I’m very short”, “I’m too fat - I’m too thin” - and so on. At the same time, a girl can be completely normal and not even have any real physical differences from others; 2. Internal feminization. A woman convinces herself that she must be a strong and self-sufficient careerist. The male sex is either despised or used for selfish purposes. This also includes fear of sex or relationships in general; 3. Increased importance of motherhood. The tendency to “give birth for yourself” plus prejudice against abortion plus sexual immaturity (a girl learns that contraception exists at 9 months of pregnancy) - all this is grist for the mill of female loneliness. A child, as it were, replaces everything for a woman - and the meaning of life lies in him. A woman does not immediately think about the fact that it would be nice to arrange her personal life, and that it is harmful for a child to grow up without a father. The question “How to get rid of loneliness?” actually needs to be rephrased. Because in modern reality it sounds different and quite sad: “How to remain a woman, no matter what?”

How to remain a woman?

And to begin with, a warning so as not to fall into the traps described above. The first point: try to resolve the issue of childbearing yourself. The girl will have a hard time: at an age when children can appear from any careless relationship, she will have to clearly decide for herself whether she is planning a child right now or not. And decide BEFORE, not AFTER. It is clear that not everyone can cope with this, so there is only one way: carry condoms with you and ask your beloved, dear and only man to use them. This is the simplest solution to the huge problem of the infantilism of young people, the irresponsibility of sudden families and the incredible number of single mothers. And second: sign up for femininity courses. In any way it is necessary to cleanse the minds of girls from left-wing attitudes. It's complicated. All the same, the majority will either suffer with an alcoholic, or endure a jealous king, or believe in male monogamy. What to do if nothing helps? Loneliness still crept up, and the presence or absence of children, age and reflection in the mirror no longer matter. And options for salvation like “becoming a lesbian”, “getting drunk on vodka” or “working hard for 24 hours” have either been tried and did not help, or seem idiotic. What can be done: 1. Understand the reasons for loneliness Go to a psychologist/girlfriend/astrologer/tarot reader - if you can’t do it yourself. The main thing is not to go to a charlatan who will only charge you money for taking off some “crowns”. Having understood the reasons for your failed personal life, you can begin to recode them and bring new habits into your life, learn new skills and not be afraid to post your best photo on a dating site. 2. Look in the mirror again Every second specialist will tell you that you need to love yourself. However, this sometimes takes a lifetime. Self-love is a deep internal transformation, so you can start with a smile. At first, it’s enough to just like yourself, and from femininity courses you already know how to wink at a man so that he becomes interested in you. Start practicing in front of a mirror, and when you go out in public, practice not on every man, but only on those you like. Being liked by men is not a shame! 3. Gain experience Experience brings the main life revelation: Your expectations are not met. If you didn’t know about this yet, or you have little experience, now you know about it. Want to check it out? Forward. But you can just believe it. Once again: Your expectations are not met. And if you are still sure that your marriage is eternal, your man is not cheating on you and will always be with you... and maybe your man is waiting for you around the next corner... then all that remains is to come to terms with the reality of loneliness. And after that, don’t give up under any circumstances, but put on your best dress and go hunting!

This women's practice helps improve and harmonize one of the three most important areas in the lives of each of us. Improve your relationships, improve your well-being and simply become a successful person with the help of this practice.

500 rub Maybe women don’t even suspect that men really wait for them, love and want them? On the streets, in homes, at work, on the Internet - there are thousands, millions of lonely men everywhere around. And not all of them are afraid to take the first step. Many people turn their attention specifically to you - they open doors for you, give you cute little things for no reason, call you affectionately, unobtrusively offer help or support... Where are you all this time? Maybe you're waiting for the prince? Either you are hopelessly married, or you simply think “I don’t like him, he has no taste.” Or maybe this particular person is your soul mate. Don't believe me? Ask some tarot reader and let him tell your fortune for the strange man in your office... Women's loneliness is the work of women themselves. Women are not lonely because all men are assholes. The same applies to male loneliness. Someone wise said long ago that people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. This happens due to mistrust of each other. Please build bridges.

Reasons for female loneliness

The issue of female loneliness is controversial. Women themselves set the intention for loneliness, adhering to six principles.

"Not lonely, but independent"

Strong and independent women who have climbed the career ladder criticize men. Self-confidence, high self-esteem and demands on a man are incompatible with the desire to be loved. A strong woman is unconsciously afraid of being dependent on her feelings.

"A man must"

This is a repeated and favorite phrase of single women. The number of requests reveals the level of dissatisfaction and resentment towards the male gender. Such women are called “weak”. Behind the apparent desire to meet a man, inferiority and hostility are veiled.

“Appearance is not the main thing”

Ignoring appearance– one of the main reasons for female loneliness. Perceiving herself according to the principle “love her as she is”, “you can’t please everyone”, “don’t drink water off your face”, a woman does not receive the attention of men. Self-sufficiency and confidence are important, but attractive appearance and respect for the female self work flawlessly.

“But he is gentle and romantic”

Worldly wisdom says that a woman loves with her ears. In pursuit of happiness, women selflessly plunge into love adventures, believing words and promises. Only at the beginning of the novel is a man ready to get stars for his beloved, but women do not pay attention to his actions.

Disagreement with the ideal leads to disappointment in men. Resentment results in chronic mistrust.

“A wife is not a wall”

When entering into a relationship with a married man, a woman makes a mistake. In the hope of a breakup between the chosen one and his legal wife, he wastes time. Learn to draw conclusions and value yourself to avoid loneliness.

“Talks about children - means reliable”

A woman’s desire to become a mother and give birth to children for her beloved man is natural. Raging hormones and the flow of happiness and love at the beginning of a relationship make it difficult to think soberly. Women are immersed in the illusion of happiness and believe confessions.

The news of pregnancy frightens a man who is unprepared for a serious step. The ending of such a fairy tale is the disappearance of the prince without a trace.

Content

Our world is actively developing and improving, and, it would seem, modern society people can express themselves without fear and show their inner freedom in any way, but still, a single woman over 40 still evokes pity among the majority and a heightened desire to help her find a mate. And no matter how much she tries to prove to her family, friends, acquaintances and just the first person she meets that loneliness is her conscious choice, no one will believe her. Of course, everyone will nod their heads affirmatively and pretend that this is how it should be, but their thoughts will be something like this: “Poor thing, she’s so lonely and unhappy, she doesn’t have a man or a reliable shoulder, and time goes by and the clock is ticking... Doesn’t she understand this?

You shouldn’t pay attention to people who feel sorry for you and constantly repeat that a woman cannot be complete without a partner. The problem is how a woman interprets her loneliness and what emotions this condition gives her. There are women over forty who are comfortable without a partner. They don’t even want to think about connecting their lives with a man and spending their time developing this relationship. Others simply convinced themselves that they were fine without their other half. However, in fact, they constantly suffer and every morning they wake up with the hope that today this long-awaited meeting with a handsome prince (or even a king) will take place, which will change their lives in better side Once and for all. The psychology of a woman’s loneliness is a very subtle and rather veiled matter, which, of course, we will now try to understand at least a little.

Reasons for female loneliness

German psychologists note with alarm that every year there are more and more single women over 40 years old. This happens due to factors such as:

• an unsuccessful marriage that ended in divorce;
• death of a beloved spouse. A woman thinks that a relationship with a new man is a betrayal of the deceased;
• lack of any experience. If a woman has never been married, then over time the desire to change her social status begins to disappear;
• constant employment at work.

Previously, men strived for personal freedom and were in no hurry to go to the registry office. Now the situation is changing dramatically, and this trend will not only continue in the future, but will also actively develop. American experts say that today the psychology of a single woman has been formed, and anxiety is already beginning to arise.

Why do forty-year-old representatives of the fair sex not want to enter into relationships?

Most common reasons

• desire for self-realization. It's no secret that a relationship with a man takes a lot of time and effort. A woman who decides to get married loses some part of herself, because now she has to think not about her desires, but about making her husband or partner feel comfortable with her;
• lack of desire to meet new people. By the age of forty, every woman already has a certain social circle, and not everyone wants to expand it. In addition, every year it becomes more and more difficult to meet strangers;
• desire for career growth. A modern woman who decides to pursue her career sooner or later faces a dilemma: family or work. It is possible to combine these two activities, but it is very difficult. In the end, someone will still be dissatisfied: either the boss, or the husband and children;
• reluctance to take part in working on relationships. The famous actor Brad Pitt once said: “Relationships are not only flowers and gifts, it is colossal work without weekends and holidays, for which, by the way, they do not pay at all.” And indeed it is! Getting to know the guy you like, exchanging phone numbers with him and going on a few dates is one thing, but building a healthy, strong and promising relationship that will satisfy your partners is completely different. Not every woman has the desire to do this;
• negative experience. It often happens that a woman who has had an unsuccessful marriage and gone through a divorce deliberately puts an end to her personal life, because she believes that good, decent, generous and caring men simply do not exist;
• children. Almost 35% of women over 40, who are raising daughters and sons on their own, do not want to start a relationship with a new man, because they believe that he will not be able to replace their children with their own father or will treat them badly;
• financial independence and personal freedom. Three out of ten adult women with a mature character, a well-paid job and an established lifestyle do not want to limit their freedom and account for financial expenses to a potential spouse, etc.

These and many other reasons clearly demonstrate that modern women do not want to limit their freedom and depend on men emotionally or financially. Although a woman may constantly feel lonely, she will still prefer not to change her status, so as not to experience inconvenience in relationships, which sooner or later arises in every couple. However, it is worth noting that the psychology of female loneliness works more in a negative than in a positive way. It's no secret that social connections play one of the key roles in a person’s life, and loneliness negatively affects psychological (for example, lack of moral support) and physical (lack of intimate life) health.

Psychology of female loneliness: why don’t women want relationships?

Is being single over 40 normal or not? Modern women are very different from their great-grandmothers who lived a hundred or more years ago. If previously a twenty-year-old unmarried girl was considered an “old maid,” today even at fifty you can find a partner. Society as a whole has become more tolerant of this, but individuals may continue to point the finger at an adult woman without a husband and consider her inferior.

Why are representatives of the fair sex in no hurry to start relationships and create a new unit of society? The whole point is that when choosing loneliness, you don’t need to:

• adapt to the man and change your usual lifestyle. At 40 years old it is very difficult to do this, and a woman does not always have such a desire;
• account for one’s actions and explain one or another action. Of course, meet New Year together or spending time on the shore of a warm sea together is very tempting, but the holidays quickly end and everyday life begins, where every day you will have to not only adapt to your partner, but also report to him. Many women believe that there are many more negatives from relationships than positives;
• miss opportunities that may appear at any moment. As long as a woman is not tied up in a relationship, she feels free and can flirt with all the guys she likes, give out her phone number and wait for a miracle. The same applies to work, because, for example, a free employee can easily go to another city to get a promotion or work almost seven days a week, while a woman in a relationship will have to take into account the opinion of her other half;
• open up to a man and show him your weak sides. Each person has his own complexes and problems, which, when starting a serious relationship, he has to show to his partner. Not all girls are ready for this, because they believe that a man, having learned about something like this, will no longer want to see her and will simply leave;
• fear the future. Romantic relationships are always a risk, because you never know what will come of it. The psychology of a single woman is as follows: she believes that it is much easier not to start a relationship at all than to constantly worry about the future and experience negative emotions on this occasion.

Is it worth changing?

Is it worth changing your lifestyle for the sake of a new relationship? Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to this important question. It all depends on the woman herself. You just need to honestly answer yourself, set your priorities correctly and either not start a new relationship at all, or tune in to a positive mood and still try to do it. If a woman feels comfortable alone, lives a full life and does not consider herself deprived of fate, then there is no point in starting a relationship and disrupting her way of life. However, it should be noted that only in a relationship can both a man and a woman reach their full potential, so it’s still worth at least trying to find your other half.

Those same representatives of the fair sex who dream of meeting a man and starting a family with him should understand that relationships are, first of all, comfort and coziness. There is no need to go from one extreme to another and be with the first partner you come across just because society dictates so or because your parents have been hinting for years that they want to babysit their grandchildren. This is your life and you are responsible for all the consequences, so you should not be led by circumstances. If you decide to get rid of the psychology of a single woman, find your other half and start living a full life, then you need to:

• understand yourself and your internal problems that prevent you from having a relationship with a man;
• take full responsibility for your actions and stop worrying about what society, parents, married friends, colleagues, etc. think. You live for yourself, not for them!
• tune in to a positive mood and stop worrying about loneliness. You shouldn’t give up on yourself and think that there’s something wrong with you because you can’t find a worthy partner. Tell yourself that you deserve only the best and finally believe it!
• forget about failures and negative experiences as soon as possible. What you had is already in the past, and there is no way back. Learn from past mistakes, draw appropriate conclusions, let go of negative emotions and believe in what awaits you ahead new life, which depends only on you;
• Don’t be afraid to meet people in the most unexpected places. Who said that decent women don’t meet each other on the streets? In the modern world, all conventions have lost their meaning, so meeting people on the streets is possible and even necessary! If this is too radical for you, then you can create an account on some dating site and try to find a life partner there.

Unfortunately, women over 40 often forget one very important truth: “Love yourself, and then others will love you.” It would seem that this is a banal thing that is not worth mentioning, but not all adult representatives of the fair sex can say without a twinge of conscience that they love themselves. Men feel insecurity and lack of self-love on a subconscious level. Popular actress Jennifer Aniston once said: “Getting rid of loneliness and loving a man and children begins with loving yourself.” And indeed it is! A woman who loves herself knows what she needs and how to achieve it! Without violating her own inner harmony, she starts a relationship with a worthy man who treats her with love and respect, and is in no hurry to throw in her lot with the first person she meets. Self-love and inner peace will help you get rid of loneliness and make you look at yourself and the world around you in a completely different way!