Is it good to be self-confident? Self-confidence: light and dark sides. “Self-confident people are more prone to risk, and on the confidence of these people we create entire institutions - banks, exchanges, armies, which also become vulnerable to risk. In turn, uh

Unlike self-esteem, which is based on, self-confidence is an individual’s completely unfounded belief in his ideality and the absence of shortcomings, both internal and external.

It is necessary to distinguish the concepts of self-confidence from self-confidence. The latter is a subjective positive assessment of one’s own strengths, capabilities and potential, which are necessary to achieve a certain goal or complete a task.

How people see us is largely based on how we see ourselves. Excessive self-confidence can often alienate others, but at the same time it increases as an individual gains success. We cannot always discern the line beyond which our self-confidence turns into too high self-confidence, and not all factors influencing this are subject to us.

Overconfidence

Some people mistakenly believe that there are certain positive aspects to self-confidence. However. On the contrary, research in psychology proves the fact that in most cases the cause of failure is precisely the individual’s excessive self-confidence. It leads to the fact that forces and real prospects are viewed distortedly, from an idealized point of view, so that as a result, success is never achieved. Overly self-confident people do not admit mistakes, and when faced with failures, they attribute them to some external circumstances. They consider their own to be the only correct one, while more often than others they are prone to conflicts, as a result of which there is complete misunderstanding in their relationships.

Psychologists most often talk about self-confidence in a negative way. It can cause failure in many areas of life, since, as it develops, it prevents the individual from perceiving real ratio problems and internal forces, disrupts the adequacy of thinking, and affects self-esteem. Of course, such a scenario cannot be ruled out when such a belief is beneficial, but this is too dangerous an extreme. In addition, it has a negative impact on personality development. Self-confident people do not take mistakes personally, therefore, they are not able to analyze them, accept them as experience and not make them again in the future. For them, mistakes are something too natural, the result solely external conditions and combinations of circumstances, failure.

In some cases, self-confidence poses a real threat to the individual. In particular, when problems relate to financial issues or health. It's about about self-medication, which rarely leads to a truly positive outcome.

The distinctive feature of self-confidence is that it does not have any basis. Self-confidence is based on an objective assessment of capabilities and potential, which are supported by past successful experience.

Self-confidence and confidence

In psychology, there is a fairly clear distinction between self-confidence and confidence of any individual. The paradox is that the appearance of self-confidence is the first and practically the main sign of an individual’s lack of confidence in his abilities. That is, it excludes true self-confidence. Such people tend to hide their shortcomings and complexes even from themselves, hiding behind feigned courage. They are characterized by ostentatious and mannered calmness, a tendency to bravado and boasting, at the same time, excessive aggression and irritability are noted.

Of course, all such traits are formed in childhood, and their adequacy depends on upbringing. A person who is incorrectly brought up with regard to self-esteem and confidence grows up to be quite closed, angry, and quite fussy. It is precisely such people who in the future tend to hide under the mask of self-confidence, since they do not want to demonstrate their real “appearance”. At the same time, they are also characterized by incorrect ambitions. They hide their fear or even complexes under the constant desire to dominate everywhere and occupy a dominant position. They are overly fond of the non-existent image of the “ideal self” they have created when they encounter disagreement with their opinion.

As for a self-confident individual, he is in harmony with his real “I”. Such a person independently accepts shortcomings and advantages and is able to correct them. He is not prone to hypocrisy, unlike a self-confident person, he is open to the people around him and, in turn, accepts them as they are in life.

So we come to the conclusion that overconfidence is something bad. There is no need to resort to extremes, because even our negative traits can play a certain positive role depending on the situation. You shouldn’t completely eradicate your shortcomings; it’s better to control them or even use them at the right moment.

Self-confidence can be used by adhering to expressed politeness in conversation, but not provoking conflicts, but resolving them and mitigating circumstances. Think as little as possible about how you appear in the eyes of others; direct your energy to thinking about your real affairs. It's good to be confident, but don't forget to control your behavior!

Psychologists provide a number of tips with which you can not only develop your sense of confidence at the right time, but also learn to keep it under control:

1. Organize your wardrobe. A formal dressing style has a positive impact on your sense of self. Appearance greatly influences relationships with people. In this regard, it is a little easier for men, since they only need to keep their clothes clean and regularly clean themselves up.
   2. Develop a fast gait. It doesn’t really matter where exactly you go, be it work, a date, or another important matter. Confident people They are in a hurry more often than usual, but they walk firmly and confidently. Developing the habit of walking quickly and accurately can improve your sense of self and build your confidence.
   3. Watch your posture! A person who demonstrates sluggish and meager movements, drooping shoulders and eyes fixed on the ground does not give the impression of a confident individual. They often do not consider themselves important, suffer from low self-esteem, and have a negative attitude towards their own activities and successes. Practicing good posture is a key to self-confidence. If you walk upright and look others in the eye, you will not only command respect from them, but you yourself will feel a surge of strength and confidence.
   4. Pay attention to familiarize yourself with various motivational speeches. Nowadays it is not so easy to find a good speaker, so you can try yourself in this role. Write a speech that will truly motivate you. Develop a speech, because this in itself will make you feel more confident, and repeat your speech every day just like that or in front of a mirror.
   5. Learn to be grateful to yourself. When an individual is strictly aimed at a certain result, his consciousness may begin to reflexively suggest possible reasons why he will not be able to achieve the desired result. Thus, a person begins to talk about his weaknesses and focus on them. To avoid this, start thanking yourself for everything you managed to accomplish during the day. Replay in your memories all your successes and achievements, even relationships in your personal life. If you compare the list of your successes, it turns out that you have already achieved quite a lot in life.
   6. Don't be afraid to give compliments. A person who has a negative attitude towards himself very often transfers his attitude to others. The banal habit of speaking well of people can help you get out of this situation. If you previously liked to discuss someone behind their back, then it is better to stop doing this. Learn to speak well of others, and this will increase the sympathy of others towards you, and also raise your self-confidence to a new level.
   7. Pay attention to the place you occupy in a public place. Insecure people always strive to take the back positions, be it at school, university classroom, or office. Take the front seats and you too can boost your confidence level.
   8. Give up forever the habit of keeping silent. Don't be afraid to speak in a group or in public. Insecure people believe that others rarely agree with other people’s opinions, much less with their personal ones. Try to always speak up during mass discussions. This will not only improve your speaking skills, but also allow you to develop the right thinking, the ability to convince others and convey your thoughts to them.
   9. Yours appearance, and even physical fitness, also influence your own confidence. If an individual does not maintain his shape and daily tone, then he will feel a loss of energy, and with it a lack of self-confidence. Experts strongly recommend disciplined daily exercise as the most The best way maintaining energy and creating a positive mood throughout the day.
   10. Stop paying too much attention to your experiences. Excessive immersion in one's desires, possible courses of events, worries about future failures or successes... All this makes us distract ourselves from the reality of what is happening and the people around us. If you focus on real time, you won't worry so much about shortcomings, especially if you focus your activities on achieving success. The more you give, the more you will receive back in the form of recognition from others.

Why does society choose the self-confident? It turns out that confident people are considered more talented than they actually are. They are more likely to get promoted, become managers or public figures. This pattern also works in the opposite direction: the abilities of less confident people are usually underestimated.

A study was published in the journal PLOS ONE that explains this phenomenon. Scientists believe that it's all about the ability to deceive and be deceived. One of the authors of the work, Vivek Nityananda from Newcastle University in the UK, says:

« People do not always reward the most worthy; more often they reward the most confident»

« This feature can be explained by the so-called evolutionary theory of self-deception. The point is that making others believe that you are better than you are is extremely profitable. But to do this you must first deceive yourself. This ability is the result of the evolution of the individual in society».

To confirm this theory, scientists conducted a study in which 72 British university students took part. They were invited to a freshman seminar course that included debate and discussion. After the first workshop, they were asked to anonymously guess the grades they and other participants would receive at the end of the course. The participants did not know each other and were based solely on their subjective opinions formed as a result of observing each other at the first workshop.

After six weeks of classes, the survey was conducted again, when the students had already gotten to know each other better. At the end of the semester, the scientists compared these and the first readings with the students’ actual grades. According to the results, 40% of the subjects showed excessive confidence in assessing themselves, 45% showed uncertainty, and the remaining 14% were realistic in assessing their abilities.

Comparison of predictions showed a strong correlation between how students rated themselves and their peers: participants who overestimated their abilities received high rating from the group, regardless of their actual results at the end of the semester. And vice versa: unsure participants received lower scores.

Interestingly, the initial predictions were no different from later ones: overconfident people were rated highly not only in the middle of the semester, when inferences could be made based on their behavior, but also in the very first seminar, when the subjects saw each other for the first time. It means that…

...not only do people around them form an opinion about a person based on his attitude towards himself, but they need a minimum amount of time to do this: self-esteem is read immediately.

However, self-deception is not always useful. Sometimes it is expensive, and not only for the person himself. According to Nityananda and his co-author Shakti Lamba, ability bias has repeatedly led to " catastrophic consequences, including plane crashes, financial crises and wars" This happened and is happening because people easily mistake false confidence for real abilities and rely on it, and “carriers” of inflated self-esteem tend to misinterpret the situation and underestimate the risks.

« Self-confident people are more prone to risk, and on the confidence of these people we create entire institutions - banks, exchanges, armies, which also become vulnerable to risk. In turn, these institutions shape the world we live in.».

However, self-confident people have always been the standard of success, and many strive to increase their self-esteem in order to gain the favor of others. People with low levels of confidence do not go to the forefront, they are less visible to their superiors and do not strive to gain authority. But sometimes this only reflects a certain strategy of behavior: some of them pretend and deliberately underestimate their importance in order to avoid confrontation with rivals or seize the initiative at the right moment. This once again proves that a person is happy to be deceived, and that those around him will not miss the chance to take advantage of this to turn the situation in their favor.

The article was created based on materials:

• The irritating reason why overconfident people get all the breaks. Psy Blog, August 27, 2014.
• Susan Perry, Overconfident people tend to fool others about their abilities, sometimes with disastrous results. Minn Post, August 28, 2014.

Excessive self-confidence is, of course, good, under certain conditions it can be a big plus in any business, however, you have to pay for such luxury, and this payment is expressed in an escape from reality. Of course, finding a middle ground between uncertainty and too much self-confidence is not easy, however, this can be done through a balanced analysis of one’s own capabilities and the search for adequate self-esteem. The most important thing when assessing your own capabilities, and I have noticed this many times, is not to have a negative attitude towards failures and mistakes, and of course, mistakes should also be taken for granted by us. It is the fear of crossing the line, when failures have a negative impact on self-esteem, that forces people to pump up their psyche and often pump it up. If you choose between two evils, then of course it turns out that it is still more profitable to be self-confident, this is how people rise to unprecedented heights, but this also helps to displace them.

Perhaps you have had this in your life, or perhaps not, then imagine a situation where you always succeed every time, you do everything right, you don’t make mistakes and you defeat everyone and everything. Of course, in order to imagine this, you need to have a rich imagination, however, it is obvious that the sense of reality in this case can begin to leave a person, and this is incorrectly perceived information, incorrect data for analysis and, accordingly, the beginning of an inadequate response to the situation, which is unacceptable. Being a realist is not easy, I would say that here it is necessary, first of all, to be able to control your emotions, to get rid of them almost completely so that they do not tip the scales either towards low self-esteem or towards high self-esteem, maintaining some kind of objective balance. Moreover, making a preference for yourself and saying that it’s better for me to win for the time being than to constantly be a victim of circumstances is also an expression of an inadequate analysis of the situation with excessive self-confidence.

You can win and be at the top without playing with your psyche, I have written about composure and equanimity many times, look at the people sitting at the top of the pyramid, they are realists in the full sense of the word. I often dealt with people for whom any such conversations were perceived as just another maxim, that is, a kind of moralizing aimed at lowering their self-esteem, possibly due to envy. But as a psychologist, this is of no use to me, and without that I can find opportunities to be perceived properly by others in order to engage in the dewinging of others. No, friends, this is all the kind of thing where you can clearly see from the outside how a person whose self-confidence is off the charts begins to get carried away. I repeat, everything has its price, and high self-esteem, when a person is so confident in himself that he takes on a burden beyond his strength, also has a price, and we must remember this.

Many psychologists, mostly coaches, pump up the psyche of, for example, athletes in such a way that he has high self-esteem, so that he is not afraid of his opponent, and believes in his strengths, even those that he does not have. Such athletes can and do achieve great results, but if we remember the rationalism of Muhammad Ali, without a doubt the greatest boxer in history, then it becomes clear that sobriety of thinking is not inferior to, but significantly exceeds, excessively inflated self-esteem. I will not give all such examples, there are many of them and any of you, after thinking about it, will be able to remember something similar, and besides, sport is still not an indicator, there are more priority comparisons with similar conclusions. If you, dear readers, are one of those who perfectly live with your excessive self-confidence, if your inflated self-esteem has never let you down, well, this is certainly good, nevertheless, pay attention to those points that you may miss or not give them meanings, along with their meaninglessness in their own eyes.

Move a little towards realism, just look at what is there and requires attention, otherwise it can become a secret door to your opportunities, in order to weaken your position. After all, this is exactly how those who sit on and overthrow the powerful from their throne act, because paying attention to a booger unworthy of your attention, and even more so being afraid of it, is something inappropriate for a self-confident person, but in vain.

In this article we’ll talk about what self-confidence is, what its disadvantages are, and what its features are. Self-confidence is back side self-doubt. The person was initially unsure of himself and developed a defense mechanism, a mechanism for compensating for feelings of insecurity and feelings of inferiority. The result is a certain bend in the other direction, which prevents a person from being at least happy, and often brings even more large quantity various troubles in his life. Self-confidence arises when a person, in response to some kind of negativity from the past, develops a belief in the style of “I am somehow special,” “I am a star,” “I can do anything,” etc. It is a belief that says one is superior to others by default.

"I am a star"

If you find similar sensations in yourself or feel echoes of this state, it means that notes of self-confidence are also present in you. Nothing wrong with that. The main thing is to realize and strive for reality. That is, a person is not confident in himself, and in an effort to get out of this state, he, as it were, skips the middle and in his illusions builds himself into a star to compensate for the uncertainty. And you need to understand that neither self-confidence nor uncertainty have anything to do with reality. The reality is somewhere in the middle.

And the further a person is from his real situation, the further he goes into his illusions, into his stardom, the more he loses touch with the surrounding reality, with the world around him. As a result, when faced with reality in some conflict situations, or where he needs to prove himself in real actions, in some difficult situation, he faces his insecurities and feels pain. He thought he was so wonderful, and life brought him closer to reality. He feels that everything is not so smooth. As a result, he feels discomfort.

A good example of great self-confidence is the conflict that occurred at a press conference with Philip Kirkorov. When Philip Kirkorov, who does not hide the fact that he feels like a star, heard a question that hit his pain point, the place in which he was unsure, which was uncomfortable for him, he immediately lost his temper. All his self-confidence and stardom turned into rudeness.

Cons of Overconfidence

The main disadvantage of self-confidence is human blindness. Rising on his pedestal, he ceases to perceive everything that happens around him. He has a poor understanding of values
other people's beliefs. Accordingly, it is difficult for him to establish contact with them.

The same goes for emotional contact with other people. He does not perceive well the emotions that people experience. He can hurt people without noticing it. This blindness alienates people from him. Blindness prevents him from perceiving his mistakes himself. Every mistake he realizes knocks him off his pedestal, which is a traumatic pain for him. Accordingly, his defensive reaction acts in such a way that he begins to simply ignore his mistakes and ignore feedback. And without feedback he can no longer develop adequately.

The focus of such a person’s attention is most often concentrated on the mistakes of other people. Because he constantly needs confirmation of his star status. In his soul he feels his insecurity and inferiority. He needs to constantly prove to himself and others through such negative perceptions of others that he is the best. Due to this, he rises, proves to himself that he is the best, and receives pleasure and satisfaction from this, without which he feels very uncomfortable.

"Pros" of self-confidence

Such people have positive sides. First of all, these are ambitions, which are also required to be confirmed star status. A person has to set big goals for himself, big limits that he wants to achieve.

Secondly, motivation, and the motivation is negative. As soon as a self-confident person begins to fall from his pedestal, he immediately begins to feel uncomfortable. Therefore, he works a lot, does a lot of actions in order to confirm to himself, to prove to others his basic belief “I am a star.” As a result, there are a large number of mistakes and conflicts with others. He does not take into account their opinions - he constantly conflicts with the people around him. He perceives others as a resource for achieving his goals, nothing more. Of course, the lack of closeness with other people is fraught with an emotionally depressed state, which further confirms his deep-seated insecurity and inferiority.

How to deal with self-confidence?

To solve this problem, it is advisable for a person to find and eliminate the root cause - that negative experience that makes one feel insecure and inferior. This work requires a qualified specialist - a psychologist who could, firstly, find the cause, and secondly, work through it. Additionally, it will be necessary to work through the investigation, work through all the stellar beliefs, and replace these beliefs with more realistic ones so that a person can perceive himself realistically. Then his problems of high self-esteem will be solved by themselves. He will be able to feel like a much happier person.

The amazing ability of the Russian language to masterfully play with shades of words and concepts that are very close in meaning is truly amazing. How, for example, is self-confidence different from self-confidence? At first glance, they are so close... But upon closer examination, they are infinitely far from each other! Why should we differentiate between self-confidence and confidence? Let's try to understand this issue.

Definition

Self-confidence– excessive, unfounded, ostentatious confidence of a person in his own infallibility, excessive bravado.

Confidence– a personality trait based on a person’s objective assessment of his own abilities, capabilities and skills.

Comparison

Astonishingly, according to the observations of psychologists, self-confidence is the first sign of an insecure person. Self-confident people hide their complexes under aggressiveness, ostentatious courage, selfishness, arrogance, bravado and even external equanimity. The foundations of both confidence and self-confidence are laid in childhood: much depends on external factors (for example, parental divorce) and upbringing. An incorrectly brought up individual grows up to be angry, passive, touchy, and fussy. He hides these negative qualities under the guise of self-confidence.

A confident person is a Personality. He is aware of his advantages and disadvantages, respects his individuality, does not curry favor with anyone, and carries himself through life with a sense of self-worth. Confidence is inseparable from sincerity: it is incompatible with lies and hypocrisy. A confident person is not afraid to express his opinion, including in front of a large audience, and knows how to insist on his own. But at the same time he adequately responds to criticism and comments. He is able to independently draw conclusions about what is happening, without relying only on the opinions of others, traditions and authorities. Confident accepts people as they are.

A self-confident (that is, actually insecure) person strives for dominance over others, for fame, for power. He argues about literally any issue and constantly gets into "slippery" and conflict situations, painfully proud and overly touchy. A self-confident person believes that life constantly challenges him, so many ordinary circumstances become a real problem for him.

Many large companies, when testing future employees, give preference to confident rather than self-confident applicants, because they believe that the character traits and behavior of the latter can harm the interests of the business.

Conclusions website

1. Concept confidence carries a positive meaning, concept self-confidence– negative.
2. Self-confidence is considered by psychologists to be the basis of adequate, reasonable behavior. Self-confidence is an alarming symptom that indicates problems with the psyche and behavior.
3. Confidence is based on a correct awareness of oneself and one’s place in the world, on objective indicators. Self-confidence has no justification.
4. A confident person is full of self-esteem and aware of his needs and capabilities. A self-confident person is very easy to manipulate: he, paradoxically, is an extremely insecure person. Self-confidence is deceptive bravado.