How to deal with pride and vanity. Deadly sins: what is pride and how to deal with it. Instead of the conclusion: “The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force”

15.10.2020

Pride and pride

20.05.2015

Snezhana Ivanova

Signs of pride are a frequently occurring feeling of injustice and irritation. Such a person always believes that he was wronged in vain.

IN modern world The concepts of pride and arrogance are often confused with each other. People perceive them as the same thing or something very similar. Meanwhile, these two entities have absolutely different meaning. If the first concept indicates self-esteem and self-sufficiency, then the second speaks of a complex character, internal unresolved problems of the individual. Signs of pride are a frequently occurring feeling of injustice and irritation. Such a person always believes that he was wronged in vain. This article deals with the issue of pride and explains how it differs from pride. We will look at the components of each concept in order to understand what the danger of cultivating this feeling is and how it can be overcome.

Pride and pride. Differences

Both concepts have the same root, which means they are derivatives of vanity, narcissism and arrogance. However, in the case of pride, the manifestation of a feeling of false superiority over others is not as pronounced as with pride. In the modern world, you can be proud of your homeland, your own achievements, and your loved ones. And pride comes from pathological self-doubt.

Self-esteem

It is unlikely that anyone will argue with the fact that it is necessary to respect and value one’s own personality. Without healthy self-love, there is no development, just as it is impossible to fully move forward, discover your talents and your own capabilities. A person should have a feeling of pride. Otherwise, anyone can manipulate and use it for their own purposes. But, at the same time, any should be moderate. You can’t see a catch in everything, or see people as your worst enemies or deceivers. Unfortunately, the realities of modern reality are such that many of us have to go through numerous trials that are accompanied by pain, resentment and disappointment. But this is not at all a reason to become a weak, embittered person? On the contrary, you need to gather all your will and good beginnings in order to maintain faith in the best and in people.

Trust in the world

The more a person is disposed towards others, the more open he is towards himself, the easier it becomes for him to accept new things. Trust in the world consists of several components, such as: the situation in the family where a person lives, the attitude of the people around him, his own desires and dreams, character, temperament. Pride, most often, subjugates people, makes them unfree, hostages of their fears. One who is proud cannot really be happy. He does not know how to truly trust, to open up to relationships. It’s just that a proud person is able to recognize the feelings of another, he empathizes, helps others, but at the same time does not lose himself.

Selfishness

Pride always makes a person selfish. With no exceptions. Concentrating only on your own experiences, it is impossible to think about others, to bring real help to others. A person who fails to curb his pride will not be able to truly empathize with the experiences of his loved ones and will remain deaf to spiritual impulses. Pride sometimes adds strength to a person, helps to understand the essence of what is happening, while pride sometimes deprives a person of common sense.

Development

For full promotion life path a person constantly needs to develop. The essence of development is not only to learn new things. It is extremely important to work on your own shortcomings, learn lessons from what is happening, and let go of the past in time. Pride can cope with this; pride, most often, makes a person suffer additionally.

Narcissism

Overly proud people are often accused of not being attentive enough to the needs of others. Meanwhile, if a proud person simply does not allow himself to be offended and therefore gives the impression of an unapproachable loner, then the one who is guided by genuine pride also tries to subordinate those around him to his own worldview, to impose his point of view on them. Narcissism, or, in this case, should be considered as a psychological defense of the individual against feelings of inferiority.

Essence of Pride

Pride, like any personality characteristic, includes several structural components. Simply put, pride has three main components that keep it alive.

Pride is a mortal sin

In Christianity, like any religion, pride is considered a great sin. The fact is that according to religious views, there is no particular difference between pride and arrogance. Pride must be condemned just as much as arrogance, and therefore observance of divine commandments is an integral element of religious canons. There is an opinion that one who is proud cannot truly open his heart to true love. Such a person cares, first of all, about himself and his interests. All that matters to him is that his needs are met.

The overthrow of pride occurs through deep repentance and overcoming oneself negative qualities character. It is impossible to overcome pride in oneself if a person does not consciously do so. “Pride is a sin,” says the Bible, and all spiritual teachers, past and present, agree with this statement.

How to get rid of pride?

Often people, having experienced serious difficulties in life due to the fault of their own character, ask the question: how to deal with pride? After all, it prevents you from leading a full life; with pride, you will most likely lose old friends and not gain new ones.

Pride makes both the person and those around him suffer. To overcome this quality of character in yourself, you need to work long and hard, work on yourself. The following tips can be called constructive methods on how to overcome pride.

Respect others

Show genuine interest in other people's needs. If you respect their dreams, then no one will judge yours. Respect for others begins with accepting your relatives. It is extremely important to accept loved ones as they are, and not try to change them. Vanity and pride cannot help with this. It is necessary to completely reconsider your feelings and attitude towards loved ones.

Pride dulls the feeling of closeness of souls, relatedness of relationships, patience and humility. It is known that a proud person is not able to give up on his own claims; he goes to the end, achieves his goal at any cost. To overcome this quality in yourself, just try to at least sometimes think about how the other person feels. Imagine yourself in the place of your friend, to whom you were rude for some unknown reason, or your father. Do you think it was pleasant for these people to hear caustic remarks or unfair accusations from you? Analyze your own actions more often, then the feelings of other people will gradually begin to open up to you, you will understand their experiences.

be careful

If you want to be useful to people, then pay more attention to them. Once you start noticing even the small things you did, you will see how much easier your life has become. It is important that the level of trust between you and your relatives increases day by day. Even if they have not noticed such manifestations of care in you before, do not worry: your efforts will someday still be objectively assessed. You should not admire your pride and consider it your main thing. Warm, trusting relationships between people sometimes take years to build, but it is worth it.

Also pay attention to own feelings. If you notice in detail what is happening inside you, you will realize that you feel much better when you give joy to others, even if it is fleeting, short-lived. Find time to take care of your parents, sisters, brothers, friends. Take a closer look, perhaps, to some of them in this moment I need your help? Don't miss this opportunity to improve and overcome your pride.

Don't be afraid to break stereotypes

Most people act in a certain way throughout their lives, with absolutely no idea that they could act differently. For every event in life, a normal action has already been “invented” that would reflect the essence. Just think about how much we ourselves schematize everything and turn it into a routine, and yet, each event in itself is unique and inimitable. For example, on the birth of a child it is customary to congratulate young parents, New Year give gifts. Perhaps someone doesn’t celebrate everyone’s favorite holiday and doesn’t want to make a feast just because it’s customary.

Remember, every event, even if it has been repeated millions of times on earth, is unique. Accordingly, for each situation you need to look for your own individual approach, the most appropriate for the given case. Pride cannot be admired; pride must be overcome and let go. Allow yourself to experience feelings, even if they are negative. Just start taking any action from the moment you understand the mistakes and focus on a constructive solution. Once you overcome pride, you will feel incredible lightness and a mature sense of self-worth.

Love yourself

Usually a person is capable of causing pain to another only when he himself experiences strong dissatisfaction with life. Otherwise, there would be no need to offend a loved one. In fact, everything that is said in a fit of anger is addressed not to the person to whom everything is expressed, but to oneself. If each of us had the ability to listen to our own words, then there would be no need for pride. After all, nothing can be achieved with pride.

Love yourself and see how you no longer want to use pride. Self-love awakens harmony in a person’s soul and gives rise to satisfaction. There will be no trace of pride left.

Find your purpose

Note to yourself, are you living your life? After all, how often does it happen that a person follows the opinion of the majority, succumbs to outside influence and chooses a path that is completely different from his own. Destination should be understood as the purpose with which we come into this physical world. And it’s up to us how we carry it out. Pride has no place among those who strive for an integral, fulfilling life. The search for purpose is, of course, an important component of a person’s life, and therefore it is important to approach this process with full responsibility.

If you, despite your mature age, have not yet found your own unique path, it’s time to decide on the direction. Listen to yourself, remember your youthful dreams. Maybe it's time to make your deepest desire come true? There will be no trace of your former pride when you find yourself. This is long and exhausting work that requires maximum honesty and complete dedication. Anyone who is dissatisfied with his pride and intends to replace it with a more positive feeling must carefully monitor his emotional state. Emotions show us what is happening in our soul. Pride is not a feeling that needs to be cherished.

Accept your own shortcomings

As strange as it may sound, you need to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Long-term work on oneself, negative ones, always involves significant changes. But it’s also important to learn to accept flaws that you can’t do anything about. Forgive yourself for small mistakes, understand that no one is perfect and stop blaming yourself for the past. You can even thank yourself for the mistakes and mistakes that you once made. Without them, you wouldn't know that you could be a completely different person. In other words, thanks to our shortcomings, we move forward, develop and improve.

Thus, the concept of pride is closely related to the emotional sphere of a person, his character, habits, and lifestyle. In small quantities, manifestations of this quality of character are characteristic of all people. The only thing that matters is how a person plans to deal with pride.

Man is emotional personality, which has its own rules of life. He has a huge energy reserve, through his feelings he expresses own attitude to others and the world, but what kind of energy this person’s thoughts are endowed with, and what kind of emotions he shows when communicating with other people, depends solely on him and his desires. What is pride and why is it a sin for people? Let’s try to find out further.

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Pride - what is it?

Pride - a feeling of complete superiority own personality over others. It is an inadequate assessment of personal importance. The manifestation of pride very often leads to stupid mistakes, because of which others suffer. This sin manifests itself in arrogance, not showing respect for other people, their lives and experiences. People with a heightened sense of pride have an increased desire to brag about their achievements. They consider their success only to be their merit, not taking into account the help of others and higher powers in ordinary life situations, do not recognize the help and support of others.

In Latin, “pride” is translated as “superbia.” It is a sin because every quality of a person is laid down by the Creator. And considering yourself the source of all your achievements in life and that everything around you is the result of personal labor is fundamentally wrong. Criticism of the actions and speech of other people, accusations of incompetence, rude ridicule - greatly amuses people with pride and brings them untold pleasure.

Very often a person does not even realize that he is submitting to pride and thinks this is some other quality of his character . But then it gets worse– as a result, a person is completely immersed in this sin. How can you discern it in yourself and other people in order to stop in time and protect yourself from sin? To do this, you need to familiarize yourself with and learn to distinguish the following signs of sin:

It is these signs that are often confused with pride itself., sometimes accept these signs as virtues, but only when they take first place in a person’s character and begin to guide him. After this, the person is unable to control himself, and this inevitably leads to harm to himself and the people around him.

Eat different types this sin. This may be an age-related type of pride. When adults treat little ones with disdain, because they are still very stupid and naive due to their age. Or, on the contrary, young people believe that older people do not understand anything about modern trends and their views on life are outdated.

There is pride of knowledge. When a person considers himself the smartest, and everyone around him is a fool.

Pride of beauty. This sin mainly affects women who consider themselves the most beautiful, and other women unworthy of compliments and love.

National pride. People believe that their nation is superior to others, and some nations do not even have the right to exist. An example of this sin can be considered the views of the Germans towards the Jewish nation during the Second World War? Why is this not an indicator of the full manifestation of pride and not the result of the complete mastery of sin by some Germans.

There are a sufficient number of types of pride, each type manifests itself in one or another area of human life and activity.

The results of this sin

Pride mainly acts as a source of bad thoughts and emotions, which negatively affect the state and behavior of people, in other words, prevent them from living a “correct” life, since an inflated sense of the importance of one’s “I” becomes the starting point of aggression towards other people. Other ideas about the world give rise to inside there is a flash of the following emotions: anger, resentment, hatred, contempt, envy and pity. They primarily lead to the absolute destruction of a person’s mental health, and, accordingly, his consciousness.

Pride and psychology

This sin often becomes a sign of incorrect upbringing. At an early age, parents often tell their child that he is better than others. However, the baby should receive praise and support, but only for a specific, real reason. False praise will create inflated self-esteem, which will invariably lead to pride. Such children, when they grow up, will not be able to realistically evaluate their own shortcomings. An example of this is that they do not know from childhood about criticism directed at them, and they will not be able to perceive it as adults.

As a rule, such sin brings discord in communication- after all, maintaining a friendly relationship with a proud person is a dubious pleasure. No one wants to feel humiliated from the very beginning, listen to long monologues about someone’s perfection and rightness; the lack of steps towards compromise will not lead to anything good. A proud person never recognizes the talents and abilities of another.

Pride in Orthodoxy

This is the main sin in Orthodoxy, since it is precisely this that is the source of other human vices: greed, anger. The salvation of a person's soul is based on the concept- The Lord is above all. Then you need to love your neighbor, sacrificing your interests and desires. But pride does not accept debt to another person; it does not have a feeling of pity. A virtue that eradicates pride and humility.

Current society imposes the opinion that a woman can easily do without a male representative. Pride in women does not recognize a family in which the man is in charge and his opinion is the main one. Women in such relationships do not recognize that their husband is right, constantly show their independence as proof, and try to subjugate the man to themselves. For such women, it is important to be a leader and a winner without deviating from your principles. It is not possible for such a woman to make sacrifices for her own family. Modern society paints similar pictures for us..

Total control, the habit of “dripping on the brain” and female irritability poison family life. Every quarrel ends only after the man admits his own wrong and the woman’s ego wins. A man's compulsion to extol a woman over every little thing lowers his self-esteem, which is why love dies. And the man wants to break off all relationships.

Get rid of this sin

When a person realizes what sin he carries within himself, and there is a desire to get rid of it, then the question immediately arises: how to get rid of it? This is not to say that this is very easy to do. After all, in order to get rid of a bad quality of character, you need to go through a long and difficult path, understand the sources of sin, and most importantly, make every effort to get rid of it, since the struggle will be with yourself.

Liberation from this sin - the path to knowing yourself and God, each subsequent step must be deliberate and confident. To do this you need to remember these rules:

be in love the world as he is;
learn to perceive any situation that occurs in life without offense and indignation, each time to show gratitude to God for what he has sent, because all circumstances are something new and useful;
be able to see positive sides in any position, although they are not always noticeable at first glance, since awareness often comes after some time.

We fight pride

There are such situations when a person himself can no longer do anything with himself to overcome pride. In such a situation, you should ask for help from your “senior comrades”, listen to their wise instructions and be able not to refuse them. This will help you take the true path, the path of resistance, and will also give you the opportunity to step further on the path of self-knowledge.

Most effective method when fighting sin - service to family, society, the world and God. By giving oneself to others, a person changes because environment becomes different - cleaner, brighter and more righteous. It’s not for nothing that the sages say: “Change yourself, everything around you will change.”

“In your previous letter you mention more than once about your pride and as if you respect it, flaunt it like some kind of utensil. We must exterminate it from ourselves by all means; it is the cause of all our evils and vices. Worldly people still consider it virtue and nobility - and this is out of ignorance or from the darkening of passions; but we need to resist him in everything with humility and self-sacrifice.”

God opposes the proud

Pride and vanity are among the most dangerous passions. The Optina elders spoke and wrote a lot about the fight against these passions. The Monk Leo sadly called vanity “a poison that kills the fruits of even the most mature virtues.”

“This passion often extends from youth to old age and to the very grave. She not only pursues the passionate and successful, but sometimes even the perfect, which is why she requires considerable caution. The dispassionate Creator can only eradicate it. Oh, how difficult it is to avoid this poison, which kills the fruits and the most mature virtues.”

The Monk Barsanuphius spoke about pride as a demonic property:

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Why is it not said that God opposes fornicators, or the envious, or anyone else, but it is said: specifically the proud? Because this is a demonic quality. The proud one becomes, as it were, akin to a demon.”

The Monk Nikon warned:

“One should not be vain about health, beauty, or other gifts of God... Everything earthly is fragile: both beauty and health. We must thank the Lord, thank with humility, recognizing our unworthiness, and not be vain about anything.”

The Monk Ambrose warned that nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than pride and vanity, and the offspring of these passions are envy and hatred, anger and resentment:

“All of us, more or less, are more or less afflicted with vanity and pride. And nothing hinders success in spiritual life more than these passions. Where there is indignation, or disagreement, or discord, if you look closely, it turns out that the majority of this is due to love of glory and pride.

Why does the Apostle Paul command, saying: “We are not vainglorious, annoying one another, envious of one another” (Gal. 5:26). Envy and hatred, anger and resentment are the common offspring of vanity and pride.”

Vanity and pride, although of the same origin, but their action and signs are different

Instructed:

“Vanity and pride are one and the same. Vanity shows off its deeds so that people can see how you walk, how cleverly you do. And after that pride begins to despise everyone. Just as a worm first crawls and bends, so does vanity. And when his wings grow, his pride flies upward.”

And to show how pride and vanity differ from each other and how they affect a person, the Monk Ambrose even composed a story about ducks and geese personifying these passions. The reason for this story was a carpet with images of ducks given to the elder:

“They recently gave me a carpet on which ducks are beautifully depicted. I regretted that they didn’t think of putting out the geese right away, since there was still a lot of space left on the carpet. This thought came to me because the properties and actions of ducks and geese well depict the properties and actions of passions: vanity and pride.

Vanity and pride, although of the same leaven and the same property, but their action and signs are different. Vanity tries to catch the praise of people and for this it often humiliates itself and pleases people, while pride breathes contempt and disrespect for others, although it also loves praise.

A vain person, if he has a plausible and beautiful appearance, then pretenses himself like a drake and boasts of his beauty, although he is often baggy and awkward, just like a drake. If the one overcome by vanity does not have a plausible appearance and other good qualities, then, for surprise, praise, he pleases people and, like a duck, shouts: “So! So!" - when in reality this is not always the case in justice, and he himself is often internally disposed differently, but out of cowardice he adds up.

The goose, when something doesn’t suit him, raises his wings and shouts: “Kaga! kago!” Likewise, a proud person, if he has any significance in his circle, often raises his voice, shouts, argues, objects, insists on his opinion. If someone who is sick with pride in his environment does not have any weight or significance, then out of inner anger he hisses at others, like a goose sitting on eggs, and bites whomever he can bite...”

What are you proud of?

There are a lot of people who have nothing to be proud of at all. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose relayed the following story:

“One confessor told her confessor that she was proud. “What are you proud of? - he asked her. “You’re probably noble?” “No,” she answered. - “Well, talented?” - "No". - “So, you’re rich?” - "No". “Hm... In that case, you can be proud,” the confessor finally said.”

“There is nothing to be exalted with: God gives the word. A person cannot say a good word on his own. Every good word is from God. It is said: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9).”

Pointing out that a person has nothing to be proud of, the elder added:

“And why should a person really rise up here? The ragged, plucked man begs for alms: “Have mercy, have mercy!” But whether mercy will come, who knows.”

How to identify signs of humility or pride in yourself

The Monk Macarius wrote about the main signs that a person has humility or pride:

“Let the following be a sign of humility and pride for you: the second stares at everyone, reproaches and sees blackness in them, while the first sees only his own badness and does not dare to judge anyone.”

Reverend Anatoly (Zertsalov) taught his children that sometimes excessive embarrassment in any matter also reveals hidden vanity:

“You are cowardly when singing out of vanity. You have a lot of it."

The sadness of God's punishment for the proud

The Monk Leo warned that the proud suffer various disasters:

“If you don’t put the blame on yourself, you won’t stop being poor, bearing the sorrow of God’s punishment for the proud.”

It is very difficult to get rid of pride

It is very difficult to get rid of pride. If a person thinks that he is no longer proud, that he has already acquired humility, then this clearly, according to Elder Macarius, proves his pride:

“In your letter you called yourself humble (of course, this is out of ignorance), but you have not yet reached this measure to be humble. When we acquired this wealth, we would conveniently acquire all the virtues. Yes, it alone, without other virtues, can save us, but virtues without it, on the contrary, do not bring any benefit. He who acquires humility has acquired God. This is all the teaching of Saint Isaac, the great man.

So you shouldn’t think that you are humble, but when you think, you clearly show your pride.”

Pride is inextricably linked with other passions

The Monk Ambrose said:

“Three rings cling to each other: hatred from anger, anger from pride.”

“Vanity does not give us peace, inciting us to jealousy and envy, which trouble a person, arousing a storm of thoughts in the soul.”

“If you stare at your eyes, that’s why you have thoughts, first vain, and then bad. Please note: they are certainly first vain, and then bad. Keep your head down, like this, don’t glare at the people.”

And the Monk Macarius warned that passions receive strength from pride, and humility, on the contrary, overthrows passions:

“But you need to know that all passions from our pride receive the power to defeat us, but, on the contrary, humility overthrows them.”

Pride alone can replace all other passions

It happens that a person’s pride is so great that other passions subside. The Monk Macarius instructed:

“One passion reproaches another: where there is self-love, there the love of money gives way, and vice versa happens. And we know that all vices sometimes leave a person, but one remains with him - pride.”

Such a person can outwardly behave impeccably and look with contempt at other people tormented by the passions of drinking or smoking or other passions. But in the gaze of this outwardly impeccable man there is such pride and narcissism, such exaltation of one’s own merits, that his pride alone is enough to destroy the soul. The elder warned:

“However, it happens, according to the word of St. John Climacus... that from some all passions are removed, except for one pride, which replaces all other passions, and therefore one must be careful not to bring chaff instead of fruit.”

How to deal with these passions

When fighting thoughts of arrogance and pride, St. Macarius advised not to be ashamed to reveal them in confession:

“The fact that the thoughts of the highly intelligent must be revealed and not be ashamed.”

The Monk Hilarion instructed, when thoughts of vanity and self-praise appear, to remind yourself that the main thing is humility, but we don’t have it. And the first proof of this is precisely the thoughts of vanity that come to us:

“Cut off thoughts of vanity and those who boast that humility is most pleasing to God, but you do not have it; therefore, nothing is good. So correct and O should be done."

Elder Joseph taught when thoughts of vanity appear to remember your sins:

“And when vanity rises, then it’s not bad to remember some sin, reproaching yourself.”

And Elder Ambrose gave this advice:

“If you respond to vanity by remembering your sins and laziness, you will see that there is nothing to boast about.”

The monk said:

“Man is like grass. He who is proud will wither like grass, but he who fears God will be shown mercy by the Lord.”

“You have to look down. Remember: “You are earth, and to earth you will go.”

“When pride attacks, tell yourself: there’s a weirdo walking around.”

The elder advised:

“As soon as vanity comes, pray: “Lord, cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers.”

Sometimes a person tries with all his might to get rid of thoughts of pride and vanity, but he never succeeds. On this occasion, the Monk Ambrose wrote:

“The enemy’s noise continues to annoy you, and the enemies manage in every possible way to hurt your soul with the arrows of pride and exaltation.”

The elder advised in this case to first consider your spiritual disposition:

“First of all, consider your spiritual disposition, whether you are peaceful with everyone, whether you condemn anyone.”

The monk wrote to his spiritual child:

“...pray with humility to God with the psalm words: “Who understands the Fall; Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from those that are foreign.” All the holy fathers have a unanimous answer and advice in such cases: in every temptation, victory is humility, self-reproach and patience - of course, while asking for help from above. Pray for this to the Queen of Heaven and to all the saints of God in whom you have special faith, so that they will help you get rid of the charms of demons.”

“Our pride is the root of all evil. It is the beginning of all passions, it is the cause of all our disasters and suffering, sometimes at the present time, and sometimes as a consequence of previous mistakes... The ax to destroy the root of self-love is faith, humility, obedience and cutting off all desires and understandings.”

Pride can also be overcome by work and sorrow. The Monk Ambrose said:

“You have to work a lot, accept a lot of wounds, so as not to die from pride. When we are not touched or pushed, pride lives in us until the end of our lives.”

Pride is hidden in the very desire to quickly rise to the heights of virtues

Pride is hidden in our very desire to instantly get rid of all passions and quickly ascend to the heights of virtues. In this, according to the Monk Leo, spiritual pride is hidden:

“You, wanting to please God, want to quickly ascend to the heights of virtues and think this is possible from you, which clearly proves your spiritual pride (of which you are aware of yourself) ...”

Humility knows well that “virtue is not a pear: you can’t eat it right away.”

“Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare your servant from strangers” (Ps. 18: 13–14).

Our reverend fathers, the elders of Optina, pray to God for us sinners!

Pride and the reasons for the formation of this personal vice. The article provides practical advice on how to get rid of the problem yourself, with accompanying recommendations from specialists.

The content of the article:

Pride is excessive self-confidence, arrogance and arrogance of a person who places himself a step above others. With this vice, a person quite often considers himself undeservedly offended, worries if his talents are not extolled, and often behaves boorishly towards others. Even the Bible condemns pride, classifying it among the seven deadly sins. An inflated ego in most cases prevents one from adequately assessing the existing reality, so it is necessary to get rid of such an attitude towards oneself and society.

The main reasons for the development of pride

The formation of arrogance and arrogance is usually based on the following factors:

Wrong parenting model. Some parents, from childhood, instill in their children that they are better in all respects than their peers. As a result, the child grows up to be an egoist who, at a more mature age, begins to consider himself a celestial being.
Luck in everything. There is a category of people whom Fortune loves. A person begins to perceive luck in life as a fact of life, attributing it to his exceptional abilities and ultimately becoming an arrogant person.
Having a bright appearance. Beautiful people are quite often openly proud of their outstanding appearance. And they do not miss the opportunity to get maximum benefits, as well as emphasize their superiority over others. In especially severe cases, they exalt themselves so much that they almost completely lose touch with others, since they are not able to withstand an arrogant attitude and narcissism.
Enabling the protection mechanism. Low self-esteem can also lead to ostentatious pride, just like good looks. Fearing being ridiculed, a person with complexes begins to demonstrate his “unique” mental abilities and place himself above ordinary people.
Accommodation in big cities. Some snobs, having their home in major cities, openly make it clear to provincials that they are second-class citizens for them. Arrogant people demonstrate their superiority over them, even without sometimes having an education or a prestigious job.
Aristocratic roots. The reasons for pride often lie precisely in this factor. The well-known expressions “blue blood” and “white bone” themselves indicate that some people consider themselves the elite of society.

Important! Whatever the origins of the formation of pride, name similar people It’s quite difficult to find nice people. They have practically no friends, because few people would like a disdainful attitude towards themselves.

Manifestations of pride in humans

It is not difficult to identify people with the described character, because they behave defiantly and in some cases even aggressively:

Ignoring other people's opinions. The thoughts of loved ones and strangers are not only not listened to, but are initially refuted by arrogant people. For people with pride, there are no authorities other than their own point of view.
Striving to be first. One could even say that a person with a similar character does not try to seem like the best of the best, but considers himself to be such. Rivalry arises only if an equally proud person stands in his way.
Unfounded criticism of people. The imperfection of each and every one is quite clearly formulated by a person with an informal model of behavior. The illusion of grandeur ultimately leads him to hard-heartedness and a complete lack of tact when communicating with his interlocutor.
Selfishness. Proud people usually go to extremes, considering themselves either the center of the Universe, or having many hidden complexes. At the first problem, it is very difficult to maintain contact with such a person, because he is capable of committing unworthy acts in order to satisfy his own needs.
Desire to lead everyone. Considering even those closest to them to be small people, people with signs of pride try to become leaders in any team. The authority in this case goes beyond all the boundaries of permitted moral norms, causing discontent among the most peace-loving individuals who are faced with such an attitude towards themselves.
Failure to be grateful. Proud people accept signs of attention to their person as a due event. Dividing people by status and category, they do not consider themselves obligated to anyone because they are considered to be of a lower rank in society.
Vanity. If an individual has such a quality as pride, he cannot calmly observe happy and successful people. Consequently, individuals with a bad and arrogant character will try to assert themselves at the expense of others in all spheres of human activity.
Boasting. Show off in front of a large audience - distinguishing feature proud people. Many of their stories about everyday life, love affairs and rapid career growth actually turn out to be banal lies or an undeniable embellishment of the facts.
Pathos. If a person has pride, all his speeches will be filled with pompous phrases and complex terms. With such a demonstration of intelligence and erudition, they try to show their education, emphasizing that it was received in a well-known and prestigious educational institution.

Ways to deal with pride in yourself

Psychologists say that such a vice can lead to complete personality degradation over time. Therefore, you need to seriously think about how to get rid of the existing problem.

Working on yourself when showing pride

A person cannot cope on his own only with those pathologies that seriously distort his vision of the world and his place in it. In other cases, you can put it on the agenda following methods rehabilitation of oneself as an individual:

Admitting there is a problem. The first step towards realizing your dream of becoming a full member of society should be the decision to observe your own behavior from the outside. Pride is not an innate character trait, because people are not born with such a defect, but develop it themselves throughout life.
Analysis of your own ambitions. After recognizing the existence of a certain problem, you should understand what exactly irritates a person in other people. You can limit communication with such individuals without projecting their shortcomings onto literally every person. However, in most cases, a detailed analysis shows that personal claims against most people are completely unfounded.
Journaling. It is recommended to divide it into two parts, which will describe the positive aspects of pride and Negative consequences her appearance. After a week of observation according to this scheme, many people will be unpleasantly surprised by the comparison of both sections of the diary.
Teaching Humility. This quality is very helpful in life, because a person does not try to jump over his head. However, a proud person should not go to extremes and try to engage in self-flagellation instead of comprehending his actions, thereby becoming a puppet in the hands of some unscrupulous individuals.
Refusal to evaluate people. The obstinate’s immediate circle and strangers are not at all obliged to meet his moral criteria and fictitious norms of behavior in society. In response to such a desire to change friends or colleagues, he will receive only a wave of negativity, which can be prevented by abstracting from other people's shortcomings.
Politeness training. The culture of communication implies tolerance and a sense of tact towards the interlocutor. This rule should become a law for a person with the vice of pride. You can also read Dale Carnegie’s works “The Language of Success,” “How to Win People,” and “How to Win Friends.”
Work on self-realization. It is necessary not to suffer from delusions of grandeur, but in fact to work on yourself every day. Proud people often have a feeling of envy towards more successful people. Such a negative outburst of emotions will not happen to them only if they themselves are established as individuals.
Accepting constructive criticism. It’s hard not to respond to any insult with some kind of barb, but with wise advice you need to learn to listen to them. In some cases, someone else's experience can be invaluable information. In addition, people are attracted to an interlocutor who knows how to listen and respects their opinion.
Altruism. Such confrontation with your own egoism will be an excellent means of combating pride. In addition, changes in behavior in this direction will allow you to expand your circle of contacts and make real friends.
Doing the dirty work. Some people who consider themselves the elite of society refuse any activities that are unpleasant for them. If you want to get rid of pride, you can work in the garden or do a thorough cleaning of the house yourself. A new stage in life has come when it is necessary to forget about the old habits of the white-handed woman.
Rejection of flattering friends. Pride can appear even in a tolerant person, before whom hypocritical friends openly fawn. This is done both out of a desire to get closer to a more popular person in society, and for selfish purposes. Such communication will bring nothing but harm, so you need to stay away from insincere people.
Using the Prayer of Repentance. Believing parishioners will be helped by this method of getting rid of pride. In addition, while reading it, the soul calms down, and all gloomy thoughts leave the consciousness. The words of prayer can be arbitrary, provided that they come from the heart.

Any of the proposed methods of eliminating pride in your soul is an accessible method for every person. The main thing is to have the desire to correct the situation and establish contact with the people around you.

Help from psychologists if you want to get rid of pride

In parallel with your own attempts to change your life for the better, you can put into practice the following advice from experts:

Mental bow method. This method is quite popular in Asian countries, where they also have their own proud people. When meeting even with a person of lower status and wealth, it is necessary in the mind to bow to her. In this way, an act of respect will be performed, which effectively combats the ambitions of an arrogant person.
Projection method. If you have pride, you need to mentally imagine the internal dialogue of your friends. In the conversation with them, there were definitely some half-hints of dissatisfaction with the arrogant man’s behavior. When thinking unflatteringly about other people, one should assume what opinion they might have about the arrogant person.
Analysis-comparison. Antiheroes of all times and peoples have always been proud, even with their complexes. This list can start with Lucifer (Satan) and end with dictators who are responsible for the destruction of huge numbers of people. A small percentage of patients, after such a session with a psychotherapist with an accompanying thematic conversation, will want to be like a person with negative energy.
Perishable Glory Analysis Method. A minute of triumph due to the humiliation of another person is not worth the loneliness in the future after condemnation by the closest circle. When asking how to get rid of pride, you should take a virtual trip to the future in order to descend from heaven on earth and soberly assess your attitude towards people.
The principle “internal equals external”. Some external factors need to be changed in parallel with the correction of one’s own “I”. You can temporarily change the situation by replacing it with more modest apartments. It is also recommended to reconsider your diet, replacing expensive delicacies with cheaper healthy products.
Group therapy. In some cases, experts recommend that proud people talk to people with the same problem. Someone else's bitter experience is often perceived better than learning from one's own mistakes. During such sessions, patients talk about themselves, recognizing the fact that they have arrogance and arrogance in their character.

How to get rid of pride - watch the video:

The question posed to oneself about how to deal with pride already indicates a person’s desire to change his life and attitude towards other people. All that remains is to listen to the recommendations voiced in order to get rid of the existing personal problem once and for all.

Before we begin discussing how to get rid of pride, let’s first understand this concept itself. This word usually means excessive pride, arrogance, selfishness, arrogance, etc. Everyone roughly knows what pride is, but rarely does anyone recognize it in themselves, and if they notice it, they do not see any danger in it and, moreover, are not going to fight it. But sooner or later it will make itself felt and bear its terrible fruits.

How to get rid of pride: Orthodoxy, Catholicism

Pride in Orthodoxy is one of the eight sinful passions, along with gluttony, fornication, greed, anger, sadness, despondency and vanity.

In Catholicism, pride is one of the seven main sinful passions, along with gluttony, fornication, greed, anger, despondency and envy.

Before answering the question of how to get rid of the sin of pride, it should be noted that they are not at all the same thing. Pride is, in general, the most common characteristic of any sinner. We all fall into the same from time to time - this is that great degree when this sinful passion turns into a dominant characteristic of the personality and fills it. These people usually don’t listen to anyone, they say about such people: “There is a lot of pride, but little intelligence.”

Islam is about pride

Pride is when a person boasts about his achievements before the Creator, forgetting that it was from Him that he received them. This disgusting quality makes a person too arrogant; he begins to believe that he himself can achieve everything without God’s help, and therefore he never thanks God for everything he has.

How to get rid of pride? Islam, by the way, also holds the opinion that pride is a great sin, which becomes the cause of a number of other sins.

According to the Koran, a genie named Iblis refused to carry out Allah's order and prostrate to Adam. The genie said he better than man, because it is made of fire, not clay. After this, he was cast out of heaven and vowed to lead believers astray.

How to recognize the sin of pride? How to get rid of it?

Pride grows in the soil of prosperity, and not when everything is bad. In euphoria it is almost impossible to notice. But once it grows, it will be very difficult to stop it. She plunges a person into the illusion of her greatness and then suddenly throws him into the abyss. Therefore, it is better to notice it earlier, recognize it and, accordingly, begin an uncompromising fight against it. Let's pay attention to the signs of its manifestation.

An indication of pride

Frequent touchiness and intolerance towards other people, or rather towards their imperfections.
Constantly blaming others for your life problems.
Uncontrolled irritability and disrespect for other people.
Constant thoughts about your own greatness and uniqueness, and therefore superiority over others.
The need for someone to constantly admire and praise you.
Absolute intolerance to criticism and unwillingness to correct one’s shortcomings.
Inability to ask for forgiveness.
Complete confidence in one's own infallibility; the desire to argue and prove one’s merits.
Lack of humility and stubbornness, which lies in the fact that a person cannot accept the lessons of fate with dignity and calm.

When pathos grows, the joy in the heart fades and is replaced by dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction. Only some people, noticing all these negative signs of pride in themselves, begin to resist, while others become its victims.

You can deal with pride before it grows to gigantic proportions, figuratively speaking, before it takes power over your soul and mind. And we need to urgently get down to business, but how to deal with pride?

Fighting methods

No matter how high your achievements are, you should try to be interested in people who have achieved more, whom you should respect and learn from.
Learn humility, realize the greatness and infinite potential of every human soul. Accept your insignificance before God - the creator of all life on earth and in heaven.
Don't take credit for all the credit and achievements. Always thank the Lord for everything good and bad that happens to you, for various trials and lessons. The feeling of gratitude is always more pleasant to experience than the feeling of contempt for others.
Find an adequate, honest and good person so that he can express his opinion about you constructively; all noticed shortcomings must be worked out and eradicated. And this is the best cure for pride.
You need to pass on your best experience to people, try to help them selflessly with love. Showing true love will definitely cleanse your heart of pride. Anyone who does not start sharing their positive experiences with others in time will only increase the growth of pride and pseudo-greatness.
Try to be sincere and first of all to yourself. Look for kindness in yourself, so that you have the opportunity not to accumulate grievances, but to find the strength and courage to ask for forgiveness from those we have offended and learn to admit our mistakes.

Self-deprecation

Many are interested in another interesting question - how to get rid of pride and two extreme points, one concept implies high self-esteem, the other - low self-esteem. Let's talk about it a little.

If we already know about pride, then let’s dwell a little on such a property as self-abasement, which is based on incorrect self-esteem and negative self-analysis. A person begins to belittle himself and his merits in comparison with other people. He may not like his appearance and qualities, he constantly criticizes himself, saying, “I’m not handsome,” “I’m fat,” “I’m a slob,” “I’m a complete fool,” etc.

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Self-deprecation, like pride, can be used as a tool to influence how others evaluate and perceive you, so as not to take a painful blow to your self-esteem.

In a situation of belittling oneself, a person is the first to begin to criticize, scold and reproach himself, thereby preempting possible negative reactions to him from others. Such people truly believe that they are worse than those around them. Shyness also shows a developed inferiority complex in a person.

Causes of self-deprecation

Where does it come from? Usually this may be some negative experience from early childhood associated with the inability to evaluate oneself and others.

Self-deprecation becomes an inadequate way to protect against potential emotional threats. It can be used as a mask that a person puts on himself during adult life to hide behind it.

Self-deprecation, as a rule, really appears from early childhood, often due to the child’s inability to meet all the high standards and expectations of the parents, especially if the parents outstanding people. They expect that their child must certainly meet their ideals, have talents and ambitious aspirations.

Mask of Powerlessness

But the child does not reach the bar set by his parents, then he blames himself, considers himself mediocre, and incorrect self-esteem comes to his mind, because his parents are unhappy with him.

When a child grows up, that’s when the fear appears that he will never be able to be as good as many people around him, that they cannot like him, and therefore success, happiness and love will never come to him. He begins to openly declare that he is a failure. A deep internal conflict is brewing and a chain of complexes is formed that hide under a mask that means “don’t pay any attention to me” and “don’t expect anything special from me.” He is not used to praise and does not accept it because he does not believe in himself.

Vanity

At the same time, another question arises - how to get rid of pride and vanity. And these are all links of one chain. Where there is pride, vanity appears. The meaning of this concept is that a person constantly wants to look better than he actually is, he feels a constant need to confirm his superiority, which means he surrounds himself with flattering friends.

Related concepts of vanity also include pride, pride, arrogance, arrogance and “star fever”. A vain person is only interested in his person.

Vanity is like a drug, without which those who become addicted to it will no longer be able to live. And envy immediately settles in next to each other, and they go hand in hand. Since a vain person does not tolerate any competition, if someone is ahead of him, black envy begins to gnaw at him.

Perishable glory

As mentioned above, vanity, along with pride, is one of the eight sinful passions in Orthodoxy.

I would also like to add to everything that vanity is when a person constantly strives for vain, that is, vain and empty glory. The word “vain,” in turn, means “quickly passing and perishable.”

Position, high position, fame - things on earth are short-lived and unreliable. Any earthly glory is ashes and dust, simply nothing compared to the glory that the Lord has prepared for His loving children.

Arrogance

Now we need to talk about how to get rid of pride and arrogance. You need to find out right away, then it will be easier to understand and cope with this passion. Arrogance is exaltation of oneself, arrogance and contemptuous attitude towards another person.

Summarizing the discussion of how to get rid of pride, arrogance and the like, it should be noted that the fight against them is possible only after a person takes strict control of his behavior and words, begins to do good deeds, and takes care of as much as possible people around you and don’t expect gratitude or payment for it.

We must try to get rid of the thought of our self-importance, features and greatness. Look at yourself from the outside, listen to what you say, what you think, how you behave, put yourself in the shoes of others.

Pride, arrogance and vanity will prevent an individual from living an independent and fulfilling life. And before they destroy you, start fighting them. Only then will you be able to rejoice and live in peace with yourself and with the world around you. And you will no longer want to blame anyone for your sins, and you will have a desire to thank the Lord for everything.

The world will shine with different colors, only then can a person comprehend the main thing: the meaning of life is LOVE. And only for her should he strive.