Elena Azhevskaya

Where to start working on yourself or how to start changing

Hello, dear friends!

I present to your attention the “Success Cheat Sheet”. The idea of ​​writing this book came to me purely by accident. The fact is that I have been engaged in personal growth for more than ten years: I read books, go through programs, and if I come across an interesting tool for self-improvement and development of myself as an individual, I begin to apply it in my life.

This article– Introduction to the “Crib”. In it I will share with you my thoughts on how to start changing or the first steps on the path to successful self-realization. Of course, this is work on yourself.

Where does success begin? I think that from laying the foundation! After all, the stronger the foundation, the more stable the building built on it. Therefore, we need to think through everything and create a “foundation for success” in such a way that any cataclysms are not scary.

In order for everything to be clear, high-quality, easy and reasonably fast, you need to figure out what personal qualities and skills will lead to success and where to start working on yourself.

Recipe for success

But really, we all understand that success doesn’t just come, so what do we need to do to rise to a new step in our development and get closer to our cherished goal?

While listening to the book “50 Secrets of Success” by Nikolai Latansky, I learned about the existence of the Success Formula of Thomas Leonard, the founder of personal coaching.

The essence of the formula is that human success is a derivative of three main components:

1. 10% - human knowledge, skills, abilities
2. 40% - way of thinking: how a person perceives himself and the world
3. 50% - environment, habitat

Now, according to this formula, we can model a plan for a “changing self” based on the cheat sheet tickets.

I would like to note right away that the material in this book will greatly help change your way of thinking and personal effectiveness (40% of success), and will affect the first component (10%), as it will lead to an improvement in intuition, which contributes to a better use of knowledge, skills and abilities.

But that's not all. You yourself will notice that as you begin to change, as your inner world changes, your environment will change, and this is 50% of success.

This means that you yourself will shape your environment, not only influencing your family and friends with your positivity, but also attracting new friends and individuals who will contribute to your further development.

Personal development

To begin with, you can simply view, scroll through the pages, in order to arise strategic plan further work on yourself: what you know, what you don’t know, maybe you know something, but you forget to put it into practice.

At one of the master classes on achieving goals by Evgeniy Deineko, I learned that according to statistics collected by the author himself, only 50% of the participants achieve their intended results after completing it, and the remaining 50% do not. Why do you think?

Because in order to quickly and easily get results in any area, first of all you need personal self-sufficiency, and then the use of “various tricks” that are taught in training to achieve a specific goal: money, career, love - relationships, etc. d.

We are all different: some lack positive thinking, some lack positive emotions, some weak energy and there is simply not enough strength to implement what is planned into life. This is what personal growth is all about!

All this information is included in the tickets. And perhaps, just by looking at the content, you will understand where to direct your efforts. In this case, you can proceed to a detailed study of the issue of interest.

Well, for those who are interested in all the tickets or find it difficult to decide where to start, let’s start with developing useful habits.

Useful habits

We all understand that in order to achieve success, strategy and dreams are not enough. It will be necessary to work hard to correct the existing stereotype of thinking and behavior in society. To do this, first of all, we will need strength and energy.

You certainly can’t do without a healthy lifestyle!

Therefore, before moving on to carefully working through each ticket, let's begin to introduce useful habits and rituals into our lives that will have a beneficial effect on health and quality of life.

Morning work-out

Start with the easiest thing, for example, with morning exercises, the simplest exercises, similar to those you once did at school, later you can diversify them with exercises from yoga, qigong gymnastics or from the “Eye of Renaissance”.

Glass of warm water

To the “Morning exercise” ritual, you can add the “Glass of warm water” ritual 20 minutes before or after eating at the rate of 1 liter per 40 kg. person’s weight (if a person weighs 80 kg, then to maintain water balance he needs to drink about 2 liters of water daily).

Mindful Eating

This can hardly be called a ritual; it is more suitable for a lifestyle in an environment where you need to be careful not to buy or eat genetically modified products, products stuffed with preservatives, dyes and stabilizers.

Eat more vegetables and fruits. Eggs, fish, seeds, nuts, and olive oil are very beneficial for the body. Do not forget that nutrition should be balanced.

Also, there are different opinions about the harm caused to food by heating it in a microwave oven (!).

Walks in the open air

Build your route back home in such a way that at least 20 minutes. We could take a leisurely walk and breathe in the fresh air.

Complete rest

Studying the material

Let's start studying the material. Read the ticket. Highlight your main thoughts. Complete the practical task and, if interested, this topic— subscribe to Additional materials, trainings and webinars from leading experts in their field.

Don't rush to move on next ticket, it is important to thoroughly work through each ticket; it takes time to develop skills.

Why do I suggest subscribing for additional materials? Because a lot of useful and necessary information is given there for free, in addition, I really like the meditations that are given to everyone who signed up for a webinar or master class, and if you were unable to attend the webinar or training at the specified time, they will definitely send you a recording that you can watch in a few more days.

Environment

Let’s start creating 50% of our success, namely creating our environment:

1. The environment is not only the people who surround you, but also objects, clothes, food. Therefore, before you buy or eat anything, think about how healthy it will be for you. Also, try to surround yourself with beautiful things and set the table before eating. Try to get pleasure from everything, even any everyday moments - this will add positive emotions and increase energy vibrations.
2. We surround ourselves with positive people. By subscribing to free newsletters, you will receive letters from people who have already achieved success and, by reading their letters, you will naturally adopt their way of thinking. You can also join interest groups, for example, in the Facebook group “Personal Growth and Human Development” I always post the materials I like. And, of course, if you have any questions, you can always ask me for help in the comments on the website and on social networks.

Processing information

Books and programs on positive thinking. Talking with many people who are interested in this topic, we came to the same conclusion: while you read the book, you are filled with positivity and the desire to change your life for the better, but as soon as the book is read, the inspiration disappears, and everything becomes the same as and it happened before.

Of course, the book has been read, but new behavioral skills have not been formed, so the information received must be processed and re-read! Audiobooks and programs are good in this regard: you turn on the recording and can go about your business that does not require mental stress (cleaning the apartment, cooking).

Once upon a time, more than five years ago, I listened to an audiobook. At that time, my girlfriend and I were renting an apartment. She spent her free time from work with friends, and I spent more time at home and constantly listened to my favorite book. When she came home, she said: “Lena, are you becoming a zombie again?!” :-))) Yes! Exactly! How else can you change your way of thinking?

Don't be afraid of new information! Of course you need to listen to common sense and intuition. You can’t take anything for granted without checking it, and only then, if you like the idea, start implementing it into your life. I wish you all success on this path and see you soon.

With love and respect, Elena Azhevskaya.

Everything that is described below is an attempt to systematize the three-dimensional form of a complex process that can be described by the words: “working on oneself.” Of course, this is not an exhaustive systematization and not the only possible one, but this is exactly what I managed to come to as a result of my own practical work on yourself and working with other people in the same direction. If I had come across such a systematization ten years ago, it would have significantly reduced time and made it easier to achieve my goals; it would have been clear what needs to be done and in what direction, where there are “gaps,” and why some things stall and don’t work out. The essence of this systematization is simple: four main directions in working on oneself, what they are in general. Then - four rules, without which these four directions are unlikely to give any tangible results and recommendations on how to implement these rules.

Of course, these are not the keys to all questions and not recommendations from the “help yourself” series, but this is a definite map that can help you navigate this not the easiest path.

I'll start from a little further.

We are born and live this life for a reason. It makes sense. Everyone has their own - this is their purpose. Due to circumstances, we humans almost always miss our meaning and, as a result, do not get the results in life that we would have had if our lives had this very, our own meaning - our destiny. Instead, we get results that are thoroughly imbued with some other, not our, meaning. As a result, we live to the death not our life, not our destiny, not our destiny and get results that we do not need, and this is at best. At worst, it brings us illnesses, insoluble difficulties, insurmountable obstacles, difficulties and wanderings that seem to be about to be resolved, but year after year not only are not resolved, but, on the contrary, become thicker and worse.

This is the most important question which each of us faces in life. Many people don’t notice it, don’t even know that it exists - this means that it’s not yet “hot enough” to ask questions and look for answers. Some people are familiar with this question, but they lack the desire and enthusiasm to find real answers that lie outside their comfort zone. Someone takes a road that can lead to its own meaning, he asks questions and looks for answers, wherever they may be. This is the most difficult thing, because here you need to work with yourself, with your life, your feelings, your thinking, your reactions and perceptions... with your pain and your value system, with your beliefs and your experience, with your fear and your motivations... with everything that makes you up as a person, as an individual, as a person. It's like fixing a car at full speed. But this is the only way to get out of the “default settings”. This is our life.

One Eastern wisdom says: “Only death happens by itself.” Life is a continuous movement. No movement means no life. At different moments in our lives, different movements occur. There is a movement that is directed outward, to search for resources, to attract a partner, to protect and adapt. There is a movement that is directed inside our life, first of all, this is a learning process that begins from the moment we are born. The task facing this internal movement is to make the external movement as effective as possible, and at the simplest level, almost everyone copes with this, we master the skills of interacting with environment and society. But this is not all, a person has deeper and more complex needs than “earning money for food”, “continuing one’s family” and “being more significant than others”, and ninety percent of the real “good” depends on these deep and complex needs. However, where exactly this “good” can be found, and what these deep-seated needs are, everyone must understand in their own life; this is not taught anywhere - neither at school, nor at college. So it turns out that we are faced with these very questions already when our personality has been socialized, basic life skills have been consolidated, and in general we have somehow formed.

Thus, when we are ready for external action, we again need to go inside ourselves, starting the learning process that has already subsided. This is where what can be called “work on yourself” begins. A difficult, often confusing, and sometimes very abstract area of ​​human activity. Especially if we talk about working on oneself in relation not to any particular area of ​​life, but specifically about working on the essence of one’s existence...

But let's talk about everything in order. First of all, what do these two words mean?

Well, firstly, the concept of “working on yourself” can include a huge number of all kinds of actions. You can work on yourself by improving any skills, for example, in sports or art. You can work on yourself in the area of ​​improving or developing any psychological qualities. You can work on your health, on your relationships, on your appearance, on your habits... in general, you can do a lot of things, and all of this will be denoted by two words - work on yourself.

In its general sense work on yourself implies targeted, systematic activities to develop, optimize and improve one’s own existence.

I'll decipher it. First of all, it's work. Work is something that is done systematically and has a specific purpose. That is, if you go for a run once in the morning, then it can be anything, but not work. But a system without a goal is also not work, but simply a pastime without a clear meaning and clear criteria. A goal is what gives meaning to any activity., but we will return to this below.

Go ahead. Work is an activity. The very concept of “activity” means “the active interaction of a subject with an object, during which the subject satisfies any of his needs, achieves goals" . Active interaction that achieves the goal is a very important point. Just sitting in one place and not really changing your being, you can see a very convincing dream about some kind of personal development, a change in attitude towards the environment, about the ongoing comprehension, but all this will have very little connection with a completely material and tangible reality.

The next point is that working on yourself primarily affects one’s own life.The subject and object here are ourselves. That is, not the life of your neighbor Tolya, not the life of your cousin Klava, and not even the life of your children or wife-husband, but your own life, and you do this for yourself, and not for someone else. Otherwise, it will be difficult, perhaps noble, but absolutely meaningless work to create yourself as a victim (you are doing this for the sake of someone) and a persecutor (and the psyche of any of us is so structured that for this you will inevitably demand compensation, albeit without realizing it, in the form of gratitude, loyalty, attention or something else like that).

And finally. By working on ourselves, we develop ourselves. Development is when there was one thing, and then something else grows from it, just like a plant grows from a seed. Together with that we optimize everything that our life consists of. Optimization is when what was before remains, but begins to work more optimally, in accordance with its own natural characteristics, like a car in which all the bolts are tightened, oil and good gasoline are filled, the driver of which, moreover, if possible, chooses a good road surface and avoids dangerous situations on the road. And besides We improve our entire existence. Improvement is when the goals achieved in the process of development and optimization lead to changes for the better.

Below I would like to present a detailed summary of the main aspects that allow work on yourself to be effective. I approach this issue not entirely from the traditional perspective, be it traditional Western psychological schools or Eastern traditions of spiritual self-improvement. First of all, I rely on rational empirical experience, which is based on sober reason, observation and openness to new things... However, first things first.

Review of four directions in working on yourself

• The very first thing is the direction of “intention”. We are accustomed to seeing ourselves and our lives in a kind of vacuum, isolated from the world around us. However, even if we use simple logic, we can see that we are not only closely connected with the space around us, but are also one with it. At a minimum, we are inseparable from the air we breathe, from the planet that gave life to all living things, from the Sun, without whose energy this life is impossible... not to mention interactions, for example, at the level of electromagnetic and gravitational forces... We are connected with this universe not only by our external actions, but also by internal actions, with our entire being. This property of our life has received the name “law of attraction” in popular psychology, very colorfully described, in particular, in the film “The Secret”. Yes, we can ask the Universe for help in the matter we need, and eventually receive this help. However, this “law of attraction” has a lot of nuances, without which it is possible to use this “law” literally at one hundredth of its original potential. These nuances include, for example, how to use intention when the pain program is working. Or how to use intention so that life does not give what we supposedly need, but takes away what we are holding on to. And how to do all this environmentally, so as not to harm yourself or anyone else. The issue of ecology and safety is generally one of the main ones here. There are a lot of nuances that determine whether the use of this tool will be momentary entertainment and cheerful self-deception, or whether it will become a natural part of life, just like our writing and walking skills.

We are part of this world. And by approaching your life correctly from this position, you can not only and not so much get something in the short term, but, above all, get a new quality of your life.

Intention is what allows us, moving in the chaos of all kinds of events, to come to our ordered system of life, to our destiny. In other words, the intention is the architectural plan of the house being built, allowing everyone involved in its construction to coordinate their work. Imagine what will happen to the building if the plan is made somehow or if there is no plan at all, how will this building be built? It's the same with our lives. If intention, as a tool for coordinating our consciousness and our unconscious with the entire moving world around us, is not used, then our life is built completely randomly. And if you live by the will of this chance, then you should not be surprised when you receive results you don’t need from this very life.

• The second is “purpose”. This is the most important meaning, and that says it all. The topic is broad and deep in itself. Destination is not just an abstract inner potential, not some mystical image and not a calling in any particular matter. This is a very specific direction in which a complex set of qualities and properties of a person’s individual nature can be realized. It is not difficult to formulate a definition and explanation for this concept: everything has certain qualities and properties. The combination of these properties and qualities determines the nature of an object or phenomenon. This nature interacts with the surrounding space, thereby realizing its potential. This very potential of natural qualities and properties is the purpose.

Purpose can be conditionally divided into higher, lower and actual. The highest is how natural potential could be realized under ideal conditions conducive to this realization. The lowest destiny is the probable line of how the development of natural potential could go if the conditions in which a person found himself from the very beginning of life turned out to be as strong as possible and the person did not have the strength to respond to them. Actual destiny is the line between the highest and lowest destiny, showing where a person really is at the moment.

Purpose, in addition, is multi-layered, it has three planes: an explicit plane (the purpose of a person as a person, gender purpose, social), a deep plane (emotional, mental and personal purpose) and a quantum, not subject to determination, plane (what is called " purpose of the soul").

To illustrate concepts "lower", "higher" and "actual" purpose, a simple illustration can be given: the most basic level explicit plane purpose - physiological health. The lowest destination here is death. The highest is absolute health. The actual line fluctuates somewhere in the middle, which indicates normal health, which, with some degree of probability, can be worsened by a non-fatal disease, for example, a cold.

The whole point of working on yourself is to come to your purpose and realize it in its entirety. All the directions we are talking about now intersect with each other in one way or another, but they intersect most strongly with the direction of destination.

• The third is “programs”. They are also called “engrams” or “scripts”. Programs are the reasons that make the realization of one’s purpose impossible by 70-80 percent. Programs are a painful experience in own life, which begins to form from the period of conception, is also the experience of many generations preceding your birth. At the same time, programs are also tasks of the soul, which, if not realized, create huge zones of tension and systems of side compensation for these tensions. There can be a lot of different programs, thousands. They form multidimensional planes, entire false universes in inner world, often not just depriving the opportunity to even get closer to the vision of one’s purpose, but making it unattainable for a person in principle. Working with programs is a very painstaking and troublesome task, but the importance of this area in working on oneself is difficult to exaggerate.
• The fourth is knowledge and mastery of your internal “energy”. Internal energy is everything that determines your ability to do anything in your inner world and your objective reality. Internal energy is what is called “energy flows”, and the energy of sensuality, and the energy physical action, and the energy of interest in life... it would take a very, very long time to list what this energy is. Internal energy, no matter how general this formulation may be, is what fills life in addition to actual actions and physical movements. These are processes that are hidden from direct observation from the outside, but which are objectively present in the body, in emotions, in the mind, taking a direct part in the formation of perceived images, their processing and the implementation of corresponding internal or external reactions.

Each of these areas includes many techniques that cannot be called inaccessible or secret. Many of them have been well known for many, many generations, others are being discovered and developed to this day. However, quite often they are treated rather superficially, as required by the market for quick results, which subsequently leads to disappointment: “I know all this, I tried everything, nothing works, life is the way it was and remains that way...” In order to get results, it is important to know a few rules, without following which any undertaking, even one filled with pure enthusiasm and sincere interest, will be multiplied by zero.

The four most important rules:

1. Regularity.
2. Understanding the goal.
3. Sober mind.
4. Observation and openness to new things.

On the first and second points. Actions shape our lives. Their quality, direction and regularity determine the kind of life we ​​live. It’s not for nothing that they say: habit is second nature. One single action in the "right" direction will not outweigh constant action directed "nowhere".

If you have performed the technique once or even twice, you will certainly gain a lot of new impressions. But if you are interested in impressions, it is better to go to the cinema or read good book. The presence of impressions, as well as their absence, does not mean anything. The main work that produces a high-quality result is not done at once. Quality generally cannot be obtained from a single “approach”, no matter what you do: sports, art, science - everywhere you need diligence, work, effort and time. This is important to understand.

Here it is important to decide for yourself what you need, what your goal is and how you will understand that this goal has been achieved. Do you need results at all, or do you just want entertainment? How responsibly are you ready to approach this matter? Because in reality it won't be easy. You won’t find the buzz here, as in many trainings and seminars. In many ways, you will have to work with the most painful and unsightly sides of your essence. This is important to understand, because otherwise the movement will only continue until difficulties arise.

Regular practice and understanding of why you are doing it are the basis, the foundation. And if it doesn’t exist, then everything else doesn’t exist either.

• sober mind. Turn off your imagination, no matter what exciting pictures it paints for you. And don’t trust your emotions - they lie, it’s been proven. There is a place inside you that is not influenced by the elements of emotions, and the imagination does not play first fiddle there. Find him. It is important that you not only feel, feelings are a whimsical thing, it is important that you know and understand what you are doing, why and what is the meaning of it for you. Only in this case will you be able to remain faithful to your action. A sober mind is walls, and if they are not there, then the foundation will grow with weeds and rot in the rain.

But don't hide behind those walls. Complement them with windows and a roof - observation and openness to new things. Do not confuse sober reason and denial of what does not fit into your picture of the world. Trust experience, but don't overestimate it. Live in the present moment, but without forgetting the past and what happened. Watch, think, draw conclusions and watch again. Try, make mistakes and try again.

• Observation is windows that give fresh air, opening up the house sunlight and allowing you to see around.
• Openness is the crowning glory of the building. This could be a leaky roof, from which the plaster of past experience is crumbling, or it could be a good-quality roof, or even the dome of a temple, under which every word turns into a chanted prayer. In other words: if there is openness, then this indicates a healthy and flexible psyche, capable of being in constant contact with the environment. If there is a problem with openness, then this is a roof from which scraps of past experience are constantly pouring down and there is a constant struggle with leaks, when the outside world still destructively seeps inside the house.

But these rules are not enough to be understood; they must be followed.

A few recommendations that can help implement the above rules into practice

You can live by action, I already spoke about this above. Then it has a chance to bring something into your life. But how do you know whether you are living something or not? Very simple. If you do this every day, if it takes up a significant part of your active life, then the answer is obvious. If some action occurs from time to time, then it concerns your life superficially. It's simple.

One person gets up every day and goes to training, and gives himself all to this process. Through “I can’t”, through “I don’t want” and through “I have many other important things to do”. And it achieves results. The ones he needs. He stands on a pedestal, becomes a champion, improves his health, and discovers something new in his direction. Why does he succeed, but others don’t? Is it because in one case diligence and labor brought their natural results, but in another they turned out to be insufficient for the same results?

When working on ourselves, results are also important to us. If you understand why you are taking this course, then this should automatically include the definition of the result. Have you encountered any problems in your life and want to solve them? Do you want to reach your destiny? Or do you just want to learn something new?

In each of these cases already By posing the question itself, it is clear what the result should be.

What question are you looking at these lines with now? What result are you looking for? And how important is this to you? It is these three questions that determine which direction you will go, and whether you will go at all.

So, first task. Answer these three simple questions sincerely:

• What do you want to get from working on yourself?
• How will you know you got it?
• Are you ready to sacrifice your existing lifestyle, your habits and your current way of life for the sake of the above goal?

These three questions will help make your goal clearer and more tangible.

Fine. The target is visible. But what to do with regularity? This is one of the easiest questions, but that is why it is often very difficult. How many endeavors in your life could you have reaped if you had put more time, effort, and perseverance into those endeavors?

The difficulty lies here in the fact that any irregularity, any postponement for later or simply delaying action is not seen as somehow prominent in life, they are always smooth and gradual, accordingly, we cannot distinguish a threat in them, such as, for example, from some or sudden action. Graduality and smoothness have greater power than periodic sharpness and selective pressure. If the pulling and putting aside are gradual and smooth, they will prevail. Anyway. Any goal you set will not stand a chance. Even if it lights you up from time to time, aimlessness will still win. What to do? How to bring regularity and consistency to work on yourself?

The answer is simple: it should become part of life. This requires three components:

• Understanding that in life there is always something to work on. You are not perfect. And not from the point of view of social standards or philosophical concepts. You are not perfect from the point of view of your original nature (in our system we say “higher purpose”), from the point of view of the potential with which you came into this life. If you were ideal, then you most definitely would not have any conflicts, problems in life, or any emotional or mental discomfort.

To put it bluntly: you always have problems to work through. Is there an end to these problems? Theoretically, it exists. In practice, I repeat once again: in life there is always something to work with.

So what's the point if it may never end? The point is that if you don’t work, the problems themselves will not resolve, this has been verified. If work is being done on them - on one problem, then on the next, then on those following these first ones, and so on and so forth, on hundreds and thousands of problems, then this will give results. This will mean that there will be one, two, a thousand fewer problems in your life. And even if there is an infinite number of them, which, in fact, is not the case, they are finite, although much more numerous than we would like to think about it. But even if they are endless, then it is by working with them, working with problem areas that prevent our nature from being truly realized, that we make our lives better (more perfect, healthier, more optimal, more conflict-free, more effective - underline as necessary). Well, why this is needed, everyone decides for himself.

• Constantly changing perspective. This is a cure for dullness, and it is necessary in order to always be able to implement the first component from this small list - constant work on problem areas. The areas that need to be worked on are 70-90% programs, and only ten percent skills that need to be developed, refined or regrouped. What are programs - in short, this is the result of the work of the adaptation system, which can be transmitted through many generations of the family; in the overwhelming majority of cases, people do not have enough conscious energy to ensure that these programs are formed somehow optimally in relation to their own nature and the nature of the world around them, this leads to the fact that 99.9% of programs are focused on fear and pain, which are not the optimal response to any events in life, but are the simplest and easiest answer for a person. It costs almost nothing to be offended and close down; to go to resolve the conflict and sincerely see your goal - it costs a lot of real effort, this is just an example.

So here it is. Programs in his their original nature exists in order to protect and protect us from all sorts of dangers of this world. Our adaptation system is “sure” that we need them and without them we will die (a practical example: my great-grandmother was abandoned by her husband during the war and went to the front, never returning. Then, as it turned out, he changed his last name and started a new family His wife hated him with fierce hatred and made him, in her worldview, responsible for all the sorrows and misfortunes in her life. Naturally, the children absorbed all this, namely their granddaughter, a catastrophic fear of relationships, an unreasonable hatred of men. and rejection of oneself as a woman (after all, women are weak, defenseless, etc., something from which my grandmother suffered so much. Why? Because a man is a threat that will plunge your life into suffering and torment. That’s how the program works). , when we look at programs and the problems they generate, we first of all come across the fact that they will resist, and they do this with the help of our own mind, and so that we still have the opportunity to deal with the problem, and not get stuck in it. , you need to remember that you need to constantly change your perspective on this problem. In practice, this means a continuous change of approaches and tools to the problem being solved; if the solution does not move, you should always ask questions like: “what else can help in the decision”, “is this the right direction I’m deciding”, “what else have I not taken into account”, “what could be the mistake”,- and think, think, think, without getting hung up on dead-end thoughts, like “I don’t know”, “I’m tired”, “I’m tired of everything”, “I’m right”. Always ask: “What, what else could be here, from what side can we look at it, what could have been missed.” All attention here should be paid to the internal and external components of life, you need to teach yourself to analyze them and perceive them critically.

It should also be noted that such an approach to solving problems inevitably forms a flow of intention, if, of course, you ask these questions to yourself sincerely, the intention allows you to find the right answer: thoughts will come together in the right way for the solution, or a hint and solution will come from the outside, but a sincere desire will always find a way to be realized, which means that these questions to the problem being solved will always bear fruit.

So, regularity implies consistency. And the fact that the process of working on yourself becomes part of your life means there is already a certain system in the approach to this process. And another key component on which it depends whether regularity will be possible and whether it will become a part of your life, not in words, but in deeds, is uncompromisingness.

And finally, third:

• No compromise with internal problems. This is another key component on which it depends whether regularity will be possible. An internal problem is something that prevents us from living in accordance with our original nature. If we have identified such a problem (one of a series), then we should not leave it any chance to exist. We simply do not have the right to ignore this, even if now “reluctance”, “wrong time”, “wrong problem”, “the other one is also to blame”. By agreeing with an already actualized problem (actualized means that it exists and works, and we have fixed it with attention), refusing to look for a solution or postponing it for later, we are not just pushing the “final” result away from ourselves, but also multiplying all previous ones by zero effort made. Even if the problem has taken over our states, actions, thoughts, consciousness must constantly look for a solution, then sooner or later it will appear. Otherwise, we will most likely return not just to the point of our “starting positions”, when we carried all these problems within ourselves, but much lower. Inattention and irresponsibility in action carries much more danger than inattention and irresponsibility in inaction.

Well, what about what can help implement the rules regarding sober mind, observation and openness to new things, here everything is simpler, but at the same time more complicated. These three things can be considered as some initial qualities of consciousness, the use of which is a matter of freedom of choice for the person himself. In order to look at things in the surrounding reality impartially, you must first of all want it, experience such a need, and this need can often be reached by becoming convinced of the powerlessness of the logic mechanism in the face of dynamically changing life. Very precise definition Logic and its role in life were given by Hans Selye, the founder of stress theory, in his book “From Dream to Discovery”: ". .. I believe that logic is to Nature what a tour guide is to a zoo. He knows exactly where the African lion is, where the Indian elephant is, and where the Australian kangaroo is, since they were captured, brought to the zoo and put on display. The hunter who tracked these animals in their natural habitats does not need such knowledge. In the same way, logic is not the key to the secrets of the orderliness of Nature, but a kind of “art gallery catalog” in the human brain, where his impressions of natural phenomena are stored.”

Well, in conclusion, I would like to add this: working on yourself gives real results when you need them more than anything else in your life. If these results determine whether you will live or not, then there will be enough motivation to achieve a real result. As they say, the one who walks can master the road. And in order for this to be a movement forward, and not somewhere sideways, it is important not to forget what a dream is... but this, however, is a completely different story.

Hello friends! You want to engage in self-development and self-improvement. And that's great! Like you, I also love doing this. In this article I will tell you how to work on yourself and improve in a way that is effective and leads to the positive results and changes you need.

And I am absolutely sure of this, because we are all by nature designed in such a way that either we grow and move forward and upward, or we do not develop and roll back, but a person never stands still. Everything flows in the world, everything changes. Therefore, everyone must choose for themselves which path is closer to them - the path of development or the path of degradation.

Self-development needs to be made as important a habit as showering in the morning or morning exercises. And this is possible, like everything else, you just have to want it. True, you will have to make some efforts, especially at the beginning, but then you will get used to it, and everything will work out by itself.

To understand how you are doing with self-development today, ask yourself these few questions:

• How many useful educational books have I read over the past six months?
• What new things have I learned during last year?
• What bad habit did I get rid of and what good habit did I acquire over the past year?
• What has changed for the better over the past year in my life?
• How many trainings, seminars, courses, training programs have I studied over the past year?
• What goals have I achieved over the past year?

By conducting this little self-analysis, you will be able to understand whether you are moving in the right direction, or whether the time has come to change something and it’s time to take charge of yourself properly.

Self-development - where to start working on yourself?

Before you start working on yourself, it is important to understand three things:

1. Where are you now, what doesn’t suit you, and what you need to work on
2. What do you want to achieve by working on yourself - what result do you want to achieve?
3. How do you plan to achieve the desired result, how will you work on yourself?

Only by clearly understanding what exactly you are going to improve and what you want to get as a result, you can make your self-development truly effective.

Now let's take a closer look at where you can start working on yourself and improving.

Determine where you are now, what you are not happy with, and what you need to work on

Analyze each area of ​​your life to understand which ones need improvement:

• Health
• Relationship
• Personal growth
• Environment
• Finance and career
• Spiritual development

Take a pen and notebook and write down what and in what area you want to change and improve.

So you have chosen the area you will work on, for example, finance and career. Determine what your financial situation is now, whether you are satisfied with the size of your income, whether you are doing what you always wanted, doing what you love, getting paid for it - or do you want to change your field of activity, do something different and create Is there a source of your income? Or maybe you want to understand how not only to earn as much as you want, but to enjoy work and realize yourself?

Write down what you would like to improve in yourself - you can develop good habit, learn something, gain experience in something specific, hone skills or mastery, overcome some kind of fear,

What do you want to achieve by working on yourself - what result do you want to achieve?

You have already determined what you will work on and what needs to be changed. But to get results, it is important to understand what you want. Otherwise, without knowing where you want to come, how will you understand that you have already come to it?

As the second point, write down the result, which should be the result of working on yourself.

For example, you want to speak confidently in public, gain confidence in yourself, change your unloved job to a job that suits your calling.

How do you plan to achieve the desired result, how will you work on yourself?

Now you need to determine which way you will come to the desired result and how to still work on yourself.

Let's say you want to change your unloved job and do something you really like. If you don't know which direction to move in, you first need to find something you love. To do this, it is important to understand yourself, perhaps go through a special program to find your vocation. For example, such as my individual coaching program. Here you will not only understand what you really like to do and what your soul strives for, but you will also be able to verify in practice that you have made the right choice.

If you have determined what you want to do, you need to learn how to earn money from it and create an income at least equal to your current one, so that you can safely leave the job you don’t like and go in a new direction. You also need to follow this plan.

5 Best Ways to Work on Yourself and Improve Yourself

Let's take a closer look at what ways of working on yourself and improving yourself you can use to achieve the desired result.

You can work on yourself and develop in different ways. I also have my favorite methods. I share them in the article. There I described various tools that will help in self-development.

What ways will help you work on yourself effectively:

• Reading books and applying knowledge in practice

Remember that the best investment is an investment in yourself, your knowledge and skills. Just one single book can change you and make you act differently, which means you will begin to get completely different results.

And in my own way personal experience I can say that seminars, trainings and courses, whether they are “live” or on the Internet, can greatly change you and your life for the better. One of these trainings divided my life into “before” and “after” in the best sense. It’s probably not for nothing that it was called “Breakthrough”. And yes, it was truly a breakthrough in my thinking, my sense of self and in my life.

Therefore, I highly recommend taking such trainings and educational programs from time to time. In this section, I shared with you those programs that I really consider worthy of attention and capable of bringing noticeable results in terms of self-development and personal growth.

1. Reading, visualization, moods

These methods will help you fully utilize your ability to create reality and manifest what you want with the power of your thoughts. Since you create your future with your thoughts every minute, whether you know it or not, it is much better to do this consciously in order to realize what you dream of, rather than get what you don’t want at all and

1. by replacing negative beliefs with positive ones

Our brain is a perfect computer. And our subconscious implements exactly the program that we put into it. And it doesn’t matter whether it is negative or positive, the subconscious mind perceives any program as a guide to action, and will equally begin to embody your desires and embody your fears and concerns. It all depends on what you attach more importance to and what you dwell on most often.

1. Overcoming your fears through action

The best way conquer your fear - do what you are afraid of. Only then will you believe that you are stronger than your fear, and it will not be able to degrade you. This is one of the techniques that I learned in the training I mentioned above. Since then, it has become much easier for me to overcome my fear and move forward towards something new, no matter how afraid I was.

1. when a person who has walked this path helps you along it

You can, of course, find the path yourself and learn a lot from your own mistakes. But this is a very long and difficult path. And sometimes it can take years.

But if you want to achieve the desired results faster and achieve your dream, avoiding many pitfalls along the way, the best option is to learn from someone who has already gone through similar difficulties and achieved success in what you are striving for. This can save you from many mistakes and save you years of effort and hard work.

1. and accurate implementation of assigned tasks

This method always helps me cope with any task, no matter how complex and difficult it may be. In addition, only thanks to the daily setting of specific tasks I find time for what I have in mind, when, it would seem, there is none.

Each of these methods is effective in its own way to achieve one or another result. If you want to understand which method is best to use in your case, ask a question in the comments under this article, I will tell you.

How to work on yourself and improve yourself effectively – 5 practical steps

Let's develop a strategy on how to work on ourselves and improve ourselves in such a way as to achieve the desired result:

1. Realize that self-development is important and necessary.
2. Determine what you want to change and what you want to work on. This is point A.
3. Outline the results you want to achieve as a result of working on yourself. This is point B.
4. Choose ways and tools to work on yourself that will help you achieve desired results. This is a plan for moving from point A to point B.
5. Start working on yourself and improving and don't stop until you get the intended results. This is the path of movement from point A to point B.

And remember – the main thing is to act! Set it up, mark it out and start moving. Then the results will not keep you waiting, and you will get the desired changes in your life.

And if you need help, write, ask questions in the comments to this article, I will be happy to answer you.

There is a wonderful saying that says: “Until thunder strikes, a man will not cross himself.”

Indeed, most people understand that they need to work on themselves when life has nailed them to the wall. Some take on healthy image life when they hear a disappointing prognosis from doctors. Others begin to reconsider their behavior if loved ones turn away.

Of course, there are situations when a person clearly knows what he wants from life and makes plans on how to work on himself - independently or with a psychologist. He purposefully strives to achieve his goal, overcoming all difficulties along the way in order to ultimately become stronger. But there are not so many such lucky ones. We can recall many famous historical figures, who actually made their name through long hard work, for example, D.I. Mendeleeva, S.A. Yesenina, D.S. Likhachev and many others. However, a simple person (like you and me) will rarely be inspired by the example of at least one of the listed people, isn’t it? We have separated ourselves too much from such comparisons.

What leads a person to the need to work on himself?

What makes a person look at himself, his actions, bad habits differently? Life itself, which shows colorful examples every day: “Work on yourself, otherwise you won’t achieve anything.” When we realize that time is inexorably running out, but so little has been done, and we want so much, we begin to think. Thoughts appear that you need to work on yourself, fight weaknesses, set goals and strive to achieve them.

Health often leads us to the need for self-correction: when a person drank and smoked and encountered problems with the cardiovascular system, it’s time to grab hold of his wits. Sometimes external circumstances contribute to change - a low-paid job does not bring satisfaction, a person cannot buy what he wants. Then he begins to look for another place, strives to get an education, and makes useful contacts.

A kick from fate in the overwhelming majority of cases serves as a trigger signal that echoes in our minds: “Work on yourself or don’t whine!”

Will you be able to cope with the problems on your own?

There is another good saying on this matter, which says: “Alone in the field is not a warrior.” Any person on at a certain stage life needs support, sympathetic attention, a reliable shoulder. It’s up to you to decide who to turn to for advice when the need arises to work on yourself.

• You can confide in a friend.

  Who will listen, advise, encourage. Just don’t confuse a friend with a colleague or acquaintance for whom your situation is a reason to “grind their bones,” and don’t impose your vision on anyone in order to lure him into starting a joint venture.

• Or seek the help of specialists.

  An intelligent master (coach, psychologist) will teach you the “correct” self-examination. A person, having attended trainings, will be able not only to see the problem, but also to learn how to work on himself correctly, fruitfully, and which areas to focus on. Special attention, what mechanisms to use, where to look for strength and resources for change. It is important that there is trust in the master, that this person is pleasant and does not cause internal rejection.

• Communication with like-minded people helps a lot.

  For example, a woman decided to lose weight. Naturally, it’s not easy at first to give up sweets, late-night snacks, and watching TV on your favorite couch (instead of going to the gym). Perhaps others who want to lose weight will come to the aid of a person losing weight. Where can I find them? Anywhere - in the same gyms, in social network groups, on forums. It is psychologically easier to accept changes when there are concrete examples of the achievements of people with your problem, they inspire and help find solutions. Look for such examples on the Internet. By the way, the same support group can be found at collective trainings, where people come driven by the goal of understanding themselves and changing.

• Go yourself.

  But sometimes a person has to walk the difficult road to what he wants. And the lack of outside support is not a reason to give up the idea of ​​working on yourself in order to achieve more. If the thought about the need for changes in life has appeared in your head, it means that a small step towards victory has already been taken.

How to start working on yourself

Let's say you decide to change something in yourself - a habit, bad qualities. Or maybe you are not satisfied with some details in life - the absence of a significant other, dissatisfaction with work. You can start building a life that satisfies you by following these points:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

   Understand that whining actually gets you nowhere. Your loved ones, of course, may feel sorry for you and listen to you, but this will not make your problems disappear. So you not only harass those around you, but also simply pound water in a mortar. Although the minutes spent complaining can be used much more productively.

2. Try to turn problems into tasks.

   For example, you consider your character to be terrible. On the one hand, this is a problem, on the other, the task is to become more balanced, calmer and more patient. Or you have an alcohol problem. It can also be retrained as a task to start leading a sober lifestyle. Don't be discouraged, almost every mistake can be corrected if desired. And you should start doing this by changing your attitude towards the situation.

3. Stop considering yourself a failure.

   Sometimes we say to ourselves the words: “I won’t succeed, I definitely won’t cope.” Naturally, after this we don’t want to do anything, because we have doomed ourselves to failure with just one phrase. It’s better to say: “I’ll try!” There are no people in nature who can do anything - everyone has moments of weakness, bad habits, and shortcomings. Why are you worse than others?

4. It is not easy to honestly assess your shortcomings and strengths if you are not used to seeing the good in yourself. Take a piece of paper where you write down all your pros and cons. And then think about it, maybe some negative aspects can be transformed, if not into advantages, then at least into the features of your character?

   For example, others blame you for being unsociable, unsociable, cold, and indifferent. But isn't this your specialty? Your reluctance to show off your emotions does not interfere with your life, but, on the contrary, helps you concentrate and not commit rash actions.

5. Make a plan to work on yourself.

   You need to start looking for goals and paths that will lead to success. Moreover, the task should be as specific as possible, and even more specifically divided into subtasks. Not just “I want to be rich and famous,” but “I want to get an economic education, learn English language, find a good job in finance with a salary of 100 thousand rubles, improve your qualifications, rise in rank...". If you have a goal to start leading a healthy lifestyle, write down in your plan all the points that will lead to your dream: “go to bed no later than 11 pm, do 15-minute exercises in the morning after a contrast shower, eat oatmeal for breakfast instead of sandwiches...). Constantly having a clear plan in front of your eyes, it will be easier for you to focus on its points and thus purposefully move towards your plan.

6. Don't deviate from the points of the plan.

   A person who works on himself will achieve victory if he does not procrastinate. If you decide to change yourself, start now. Believe me, tomorrow or in a week you also won’t want to go for a morning run (give up a cigarette in favor of, for example, an apple or tidy yourself up instead of watching a TV series).

7. Enlist the support of your comrades (friends, colleagues, relatives).

   Share the news that you started working on yourself with a person you like. Perhaps he will give helpful advice, will tell you something from his experience. However, stay away from scoffers (those who perceive your endeavors with evil irony). Better read a book or take a walk alone with your thoughts.

8. Don't refuse reminders.

   Sometimes, for example, notes with cheat sheets help people a lot (“at 12 you need to do 20 squats, at 14 drink a glass of juice, at 16 go for a walk”). Use your phone, a cross on your hand, or a sticky note on your computer for reminders. Sometimes it's hard to keep everything in your head. Such reminders will serve as an incentive to ensure that you do not deviate from your chosen path.

9. Find practical meaning in change.

How not to lose track when you start working on yourself

If you are wondering how to work on yourself, then you are already on the right path. Now don’t allow yourself to shirk your plan. Whether you call a specialist or a friend for help or act alone is not so important. The main thing is to strive for the designated point on the path. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to set grandiose plans for yourself - this way you are more likely to run out of steam. Set a small task, but do it as productively as possible. Let’s say that daily jogging for 15 minutes will be more fruitful than a one-time 5-kilometer marathon. Don't give in, don't feel sorry for yourself. Understand that only you have the power to change your life. And believe in yourself, you will certainly succeed.